Google poofters back down from powerful publisher...

http://www.theverge.com/2015/2/27/8119553/blogger-adult-content-ban-reversed

Faced with overwhelming anger from an audience of truth seekers who demand to be kept informed of the whereabouts and activities of bath house towel boy Lefty, a faction within the Google organization, identified as POOFLE, has backtracked on its decision three days ago to ban blogs with adult content...Targeting fearless web publication, LeftyInTheNews, Google executives earlier okayed the attack on those blogs which expose the facts about poofters...

However, when the internet community arose as one to stand behind undaunted publisher Truckman, who threatened to use his far-reaching influence to build his own internet which would exclude Google, the Mountain View, California giant showed its cream filling and quickly cancelled its plans...As of this writing, Google has quietly rescinded its orders to block Truckman as it found that even the Obama administration's hard core poofters had turned to quivering jelly at the thought of battling Truckman's empire...

Pictured below is the darkened Google complex as they shuttered their windows and turned off their phones to await the passing of the storm of public anger over their attack on Truckman and his quest for the truth...

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Obama pees off in Hawaii with bath house leader...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/obama-tees-off-in-hawaii-with-malaysian-leader/2014/12/24/eff1ad90-8bb9-11e4-ace9-47de1af4c3eb_story.html

In a show of solidarity with a mainstay of his voter base, President Obama today pee'ed off with security executive Big "Tiny" Balsac of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...The occasion was the grand re-opening of the men's room in which senior men's room attendant RHM showed off the new industrial grade exhaust fans installed during the rebuilding in compliance with new poofter bath house regulations...

Following the disastrous explosion last year when a historic poofter establishment was almost lost entirely, the Obama administration pushed through the Larry Craig Men's Room Safety Act named for a former senator who has become a tireless crusader for gay men's room security measures...RHM displayed the blowout preventers in each stall which will counter even the gaseous emissions caused by the bean burrito diets favored by the local towel boys...

Head Towel Boy Lefty has personally tested each stall while lighting up his customary after-lunch joint during the mandatory Federal Lavatory Inspector's visits, and after collection of all standard lab samples and bribes, the inspector put his Stamp of Compliance on each stall door...Zipping up after his brief tour, and getting his briefs pressed in the bath house laundry, President Obama promised many more unannounced visits in the future, while Security Chief Balsac assured him his customary seat will be reserved in the poofter hot tub room...

The President also invited Balsac to tour the newly renovated, taxpayer funded oval hot tub (shown below) installed in the Bill Clinton Executive Washroom on his next visit to the White House...

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French crablice carrier deployed against ISUK in Iran...

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2015/02/23/french-aircraft-carrier/23872267/

Noted French poofter astronaut and former sissyweight contender Florian LePoof  is on his way to Iran to deploy the latest weapon in the arsenal against terrorist organization ISUK...Although ISUK (Islamic State United Kingdom) maintains bases in England, they are known to receive their orders from Iranian Minister of Steamrooms, Ayatollah Leph te Rashitch...

LePoof volunteered for the mission in his attempt to make up for his stinging loss in the ring to ISUK champion, Liqit Youssef on a technicality when LePoof was knocked flat by Youssef's curdled goat cheese breath...LePoof's weapon will be the treatment-resistant crablice with which he was inexplicably infested following a sparring match with sissyweight fighter RHM during which he made unwanted contact with RHM's trainer, Lefty...

Ayatollah Leph te has tried unsuccessfully on humanitarian grounds to abort LePoof's mission granted by a UN issued "special envoy" visa...Leph te has appealed to the highest UN authorities, including Secretary-General Si Yu Moon, who refused to revoke the visa since no other country wants LePoof either...

LePoof has vowed to visit every Iranian bath house in which ISUK cells are known to inhabit as he seeks his vengeance for the lost sissyweight crown...Shown below, Ayatollah Leph te gives his blessing to a devout follower before telling him he is the one chosen to meet LePoof at the airport...

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Lesbo Aliens Unhappy with Shortage of Bilingual Doctors...

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U.N. Poofter Negotiators Reach Compromise, Bare...

http://gawker.com/u-n-climate-negotiators-reach-compromise-barely-1670899242

UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty reports today on an important new compromise agreement reached between the major Security Council members concerning climate control...A major skirmish was narrowly averted as a coalition of members was able to agree on a rotating schedule for seating next to the temperature control in the council's hot tub...

Poofter members from nations located in different climates throughout the world have their own temperature and humidity preferences, which has been a major bone of contention in the hot tubs and steamrooms...Ambassador Lefty, who already serves as liaison to the lesbian pearldiving committee, was disqualified as temperature manager due to unresolved bribe allegations...

Chinese Oil Minister Hu Flung Dung and Iranian Potentate of Steamrooms Leph te Rashitch both abstained from the vote over British Queen's Representative Sir Neville Clive Flamingwell's insistence on bringing his umbrella to the communal shower room...Agreement was finally reached to let Men's Room Council Chairman RHM use his Magic 8-Ball to choose the rotation schedule for the first month of climate control co-chairmen...

Secretary-General Si Yu Moon of Thailand expressed his relief at not having to assign peacekeepers for the refugees housed in the male lingerie boutique operated by Chairman RHM...Shown below, former US Senator Larry Craig, now the senior UN men's room attendant, invites poofters of all creeds and perversion preferences to visit the UN Assembly Men's Room in safety and comfort...

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Impact of lower oil prices on Asian bath house economies...

http://www.bangkokpost.com/business/news/464181/impact-of-lower-oil-prices-on-asian-economies

As oil prices plummet on products from the olive, canola and coconut markets, interest has picked up on the sport of nude lesbian oil wrestling, especially in the Asian bath house industry...In China, the state-owned Slippi Slidee Bath Oil Co. controlled under the auspices of newly named Oil Minister Hu Flung Dung, has begun a new marketing strategy to increase sales...

In a typical turn of events behind the bamboo curtain, the Chinese Oil Ministry must now report to the Ministry of Laundry, run by Hu Flung's one-time friend, former bath house towel boy and now Director, Lef Ti...Hu Flung's latest suggestion to employ retired lesbian oil wrestling champion, Mazola McLeglock, to promote the Slippi Slidee product line is thought to be a political ploy designed to distract Lef Ti, a long time admirer of Ms. McLeglock's prowess...

Lef Ti's efforts to induce Ms. McLeglock to tour the Chinese bath house circuit in a series of exhibition matches were always declined due to Lef Ti's previous career as a bath house towel boy...It seems Ms. McLeglock prior experiences with a Hobby Airport area towel boy were unfavorable leaving her with doubts concerning Lef Ti's sincerity...

However, Hu Flung Dung was more successful in his efforts due to his executive background as the former Minister of Laundry before the coup that led to Lef Ti's rise to power...Hu Flung is said to have learned much about Lef Ti's life from his apprenticeship to Showermaster Rili Huang Min (RHM) during his incarceration at the Hanzhob Peoples' Poofter Collective where he was sent for "re-education"...

Poofter analysts are closely watching Hu Flung's re-entry into the Chinese bath house power structure as it may signal another purge in the upper levels...Not wishing to involve herself in political intrigue, Ms. McLeglock's travel entourage has been assigned a security detail headed by midget lesbian and former deputy Dumpy Bunny, who is said to be feared by Chinese poofters for her fierce protection of Ms. McLeglock's assets...

Although normally involved in international poofter and lesbian concerns, UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty has not been consulted for advice, and his office door, pictured below, is strangely closed while calls to his private pay phone have gone unanswered...

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Police arrest man over bath tipper truck crash...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2956738/Police-arrest-two-men-suspicion-manslaughter-gross-negligence-Bath-truck-crash.html

Investigation continues in the case of an overturned bath truck brought on by a melee between a mobile towel boy and a travelling hot tub client...The incident began inside an experimental mobile bath house operated by RHM, Intl. which is conducting trial runs servicing an upscale poofter clientele who wish to frolic in a hot tub between their hotels and airports...

The cause of the argument leading to the accident centers on the value of a tip offered to his towel boy by international traveler, Sir Neville Clive Flamingwell, for services rendered in the roving hot tub...The towel boy, later identified as former Rear Commodore Leftchester, disgraced one-time member of the mounted Royal Horse Marines now supplementing his retirement stipend with part-time bath house employment, told Sir Neville his offer of a 10 sucat bill as a tip was unacceptable because he couldn't make the required change for the unusual currency due to lack of an up to date exchange rate chart...

The enraged Sir Neville then accused Leftchester (who prefers the nickname "Leftie") of picking his pocket while he was nude in the hot tub leaving him with only the foreign currency from his prior trip through war-torn Kablamistan...The ensuing melee caused foreign exchange student driver, Big "Tiny" Balsac, to lose control of the van which overturned in front of a gay arts theater where the Royal Poofter Skin Flute Band was performing a rendition of "God Save His Majesty, The Queen"...

In his own defense, Mr. Balsac said he is unfamiliar with driving on the left side of the road, being accustomed to battling other drivers for the center of the one-lane roads in his native Armenia...Due to the international complications arising from the incident, investigation has been turned over to Inspector Lefty of the traffic division of the gay crimes agency INTERPOOF, who vows a just decision after a thorough inspection of all local lesbian nudie bars, and collection of all available evidence and bribes...

Seen below is some of the evidence stored in a secure location for further analysis by Inspector Lefty's crack CSI team...

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