Historical structure to be rebuilt...

Following the disastrous explosion at a popular Connecticut poofter bath house, funds have been released for its restoration by OSHA (Obama Sanctuary for Homos Administration)...As the investigation revealed, a non-resident towel boy who was hired in a cultural exchange with a Houston Texas poofter resort, was taking his lunch break with a lesbian hot tub lifeguard in the unisex toilet area...Both were seated in adjoining stalls, and were exchanging lunch items under the partition...

The towel boy, Lefty (whose name is being withheld pending indictment), had smuggled in some bean burritos in his luggage from Houston and had swapped one for a lobster and onion lettuce wrap from the lesbian lifeguard...Neither was accustomed to the other's ethnic diet, resulting in a buildup of gastric methane in each...As the towel boy was lighting his after-lunch joint, he noticed a familiar vapor rising from the adjoining stall, and the resulting blast took out the laundry area and most of the locker room...

Bath house officials demanded the arrest of the towel boy as a terrorist, but was prevented when Lefty claimed immunity under the Visiting Poofters Act...President Obama declared the poofter resort a disaster area (which happens often wherever Lefty visits) and authorized federal assistance in the amount of $35.00 to cover rebuilding the bath house to its former glory...

In the meantime, Lefty was deported and banned from the state forever...

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