Glossary...

Glossary of Commonly Used Terms...

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A -

Activist - A person who attempts to bring political importance to an issue where none should exist...

Animal husbandry - A popular study course offered in poofter universities, although many freshman students are soon disappointed with the curriculum...

AP - Alternate personality...An identity assumed by a forum member in order to speak as another person...

Armenia - A western Asian nation with a seeming abundance of poofters and lesbos awaiting deportation to the Hobby Airport area...

B -

Barbecue - God's gift to those unfortunates who have lost their appetites, or the will to live...

Barmaidia - A small Caribbean island nation ruled by a bearded lesbian dictator...

Barstool - A temporary seating arrangement until occupant loses consciousness...May also be used as an office by entrepreneurs...

Bee Gees - Was a talented group of musicians whose product, taken in small doses is pleasurable, but, when forced on an audience in a barrage, becomes torture...

BHD - Bath House District...A local taxing entity which takes whatever money the poofter has left after tipping the towel boy...

Bisexual - A person equally comfortable refusing sex with towel boys or midget lesbians...

Bitcoin - An unorthodox form of currency being tested in the bath house industry...Originated with towel boys biting coins offered as tips by cheap clients to test their veracity...

Blog - A method by which retired gun dealers can waste what little time is left to them in life...

Bribe - The price of doing business within some political jurisdictions...

Burrito dressage - A sport involving donkey training, and formal thong wear, slowly gaining popularity among high-brow poofters...

C -

Chewing tobacco - An organic substance providing exercise and lubrication for the jaws and cheek muscles of some...Red Man brand is said to be a poofter favorite...

Coors - Watered down water, oddly favored by some religious leaders for use as a blessing...

Cuba - A master-planned retirement center designed for otherwise insignificant communist dictators...

D -

Deputy - A title rightly earned from hard work by law enforcement professionals...Also used by midget lesbians who just want to wear a badge...

Diesel - An aromatic distillate known to increase heart rate in unrepentant hot-rodders...Used as man-bait by knowledgeable women...

Discussion board - A digital meeting place where theoretically people who may never meet can discuss the world's problems, while solving nothing...

Dodge/Cummins - the most powerful and reliable mode of personal transportation ever devised by man...

Dove soap - The preferred brand for soap droppers in poofter shower rooms...

Drag - (adjective) The preferred term for style of dress by effeminate poofters...

Drag - (verb) The preferred mode of transportation by oddsmakers for coaxing their reluctant clientele to a room for payment conference...

E -

El Producto - An eye-watering lung irritant which is the preferred cigar choice of poofters...

E-mail server - A menial job in a unisex bath house, usually performed by a young lesbian intern...

Epoofa - A debilitating disease spread through casual internet contact...

Erection - The result of a gathering of voters at the polls in Asian countries...E.G.: "We held an erection for a new Plesident"...

F -

FOOFA - The governing body of poofter sports events including nude leapfrog, team muffdiving and synchronized trampoline underwear exchange...
Forum - An open-ended discussion chamber in which all are welcomed to challenge my thoughtful, reasoned ideas with their own absurd, incoherent opinions...

G -

Goat whisperer - A vanishing form of animal husbandry still in existence in parts of Texas' hill country...

Gonzales County - A tranquil location in central Texas where men are men, while sheep and goats are leery...

Gun dealer - A person who, having come to the end of one career and still needing to earn an honest living, deals in firearms...Practitioners are known to be victimized by those who would take unfair advantage...

H -

HABH&PE - A popular recreation center for poofters located in the Hobby Airport Bath House District...

Hackasaw Indians - A Native American tribe so named because they are known to cut anything that walks on two legs...

Hamm's - A foul, nearly undrinkable swill which is the preferred refreshment of poofters and towel boys...

Hanzhob - A province in the deepest regions of China where errant poofters are sent for "re-education"...

Holding cell - A place of containment for Lefty until the offense of which he is guilty this time can be determined...

Hot tub - A common meeting place for activity between poofters, lesbians, televangelists and politicians...

Humor - The ability to sense a reason to laugh at all things, and all people, especially ourselves...A skill sorely lacking in the general population...

I -

IKEA - The favored home furnishings source for poofters worldwide...

INTERPOOF - The international gay crimes investigative agency...

ISUK - Islamic State United Kingdom...

J -

Jury tampering - A commonly accepted legal maneuver in bath house district court systems...Also referred to as jury "pampering" when bribes or favors are introduced...

K -

Kablamistan - A Mideast nation soon to be reduced to a glowing, smoking glass bowl if they don't watch their step...

L -

Lesbian - Any woman who shows no romantic interest in Lefty...

LGBTU - Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Undecided...Used by some to gain the illusion of political importance where none exists...

Locker room - A storage area for poofters, and a shopping center for towel boys...

Loyal wife - A contradiction in terms in today's world, only applicable when wife is loyal to her own selfish interests...

M -

Maximum capacity - The largest number of poofters permitted in one cubicle...Number varies from one pay toilet to the next...
Muffdiving - A competitive sport not entirely limited to lesbian athletes...

N -

Niece - A young woman whose existence proves that even a man shunned by all other women can be respected by a few, if only in his own imagination...

North Korea - A region of eastern Asia used to confine deranged homosexual dictators, and those cowardly Asians dumb enough to accept him without assassinating him...

O -

Oil wrestling - A sport participated in by women only in the daydreams of elderly, retired gun dealers...

Online publication - The free version of this book you could have read on the internet for nothing if you had been paying attention...

OSHA - Obama Sanctuary for Homos Administration...

P -

Pants pole - A centrally located trouser protuberance often decorated with a rainbow colored flag by poofters during gay pride parades...

Pay toilet - Together with dollar bill changing machines and credit card readers, a lucrative source of income in the Hobby Airport Bath House District...

Piano roll - An outdated music storage system which is also said to be capable of encoding blackmail evidence...

PNW - Pacific North West, an area populated by reclusive insurance executives known for high libidos and excessively loud stereos...

Politics - Originally conceived as a leadership platform, now a welfare system for special-interest prostitutes...

Poofter - An enthusiastic and flamboyant practitioner of homo-eroticism...

Poofter collective - Communist controlled bath house...

Pornography - A substitute for sex for some, a source of income for others, a waste of resources for all...

Powder room - Lesbian equivalent of a men's room...

Prince Albert - A penile adornment invented by a poofter who lost a locker room icepick fight with a midget...
Public Defender - A local government office existing only to provide legal defense for penniless towel boys, and a de facto welfare system for unemployable attorneys...

Q -

Queen's Row - The designated poofter zone in London, England...

R -

Reform school - An educational institute structured to prepare students for adult probation...

Religion - A regimented belief in a higher being, often perverted into an outlet for hate, a basis for power, an excuse for murder or a means of obtaining wealth...

Royal Horse Marines - British military drill team deployed at gay pride parades to demonstrate the mounting of horses in a proficient military manner...

S -

Sackcloth and ashes - The traditional garment worn by worshipers leaving the Temple of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity following the passing of the collection plate, since that's all they usually have left...

SAGLO - Sheep And Goat Love Organization...

Satire - A form of humorous needling aimed at the self-important of the world, who usually wouldn't recognize parody if it bit them in the butt...

Sissyweight - A weight division established by the world boxing authority for those timid souls longing for action in the squared circle, but not wishing to risk injury...

Soap-on-a-Rope - A popular item purchased by shy, newly converted poofters in their bath house boutiques before venturing into the communal shower room...

T -

Taco Bell - The preferred fast food of the poofter generation...

Three Egg Flip - A cooking demonstration using three skillets and duct tape attempted so far only by exhibitionist chefs and morons, all unsuccessfully...

Tip jar - Bank depository system for towel boys and hatcheck girls...Considered by many as safer than the stock market, and much safer than gym lockers...

Trampoline - An exercise and entertainment device invented in Scottsdale, Arizona for mostly outdoor use by lesbians...

Transgender - An indecisive victim of the adage, "too little, too late"...

Towel boy - A servile person near the bottom rung of life's ladder, who can still be thankful he was not born a midget lesbian...

Towel warmer - A useful invention still held from production due to a conflict over patent rights...

U -

Underwear - An item of clothing inexplicably dropped as often as soap in bath houses...Also a major source of income in male lingerie boutiques...

Utah - A western state noted for its very lenient wife-numbering system, and strict adherence to the rule of 0.0% or less alcohol content in beer...

V -

Vaginatarianism - A dietary discipline adopted by Lefty which he claims has made him the man he is today...

W -

Wife - A variation of the female life form to be avoided by ex-gun dealers who should have known better by now...

X -

X-rated - A label for most aspects of Lefty's life...

Y -

Youth - A brief period in the human life cycle entirely wasted by the desire to grow up...

Z -

Zero - The number of active brain cells still functional after writing a 600 page book that nobody will ever read...