Mr. C.N. Spitt, Esq...

More commonly known in the political forums as Honda, Chew'n'Spit, and formerly as Higgins, Mr. Spitt is a long time potstirrer who comes by his talents legitimately from his training and profession as an attorney...He is the attorney-of-record for Lefty (who often needs legal assistance) usually to Mr. Spitt's regret as he finds it difficult to get paid from defending Lefty...

Mr. Spitt's main source of income, other than the occasional stipends he receives from the Public Defender's office on Lefty's behalf, seem to come from his operation of a pig farm in Alabama where he also serves as unelected judge, jury and executioner in crimes committed by Democrat politicians...Mr. Spitt is sometimes questioned by others about how he tolerates the smell of the pig breeding business, but it has been speculated that the smell is merely used as a cover for the distinctive fumes from a whiskey still hidden deep in a wooded corner of his farm...

The products from his private distillery are thought to be for his personal consumption only according to interviews from those who have been present when he opens his large lunch thermos bottle between trials...The federal revenue agents who should be able to shed light on the subject had no comment as they continue to collect evidence and bribes in the ongoing investigation...

Mr. Spitt's main business location is located in a strip center where he maintains an office between the nudist wedding chapel owned and operated by Reverend RHM of the Temple of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity and the wedding cake bakery and hourly motel staffed by Lefty...It is advertised as one stop shopping for clients of all poofter preferences who can be married, enjoy a honeymoon and get divorced all under the same roof...

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