Other family...
Details of Lefty's family other than RHM are sketchy as they understandably prefer not to be seen in the same light as Lefty...The patriarch of the family is Swifty, who owns and operates Swifty's All Night Bail Bonds & Repo Service...
Swifty and his wife (whose name is unavailable at this writing) have together spawned a number of other children, notably twins Shifty and Squatty, dwarfs whose mental capacity equals their diminutive physiques...Slinky is the only daughter, and being a practicing nudist lesbian Druid priestess, sometimes aids Father Lefty in his religious ceremonies...
Shady is considered the most feared of the family as his name continually comes up when more serious crimes are discussed, and he is usually included when the call goes out to round up the usual suspects...He is said to have ties to loosely organized crime circles in rural Alabama, and is rumored to bear close resemblance to famed attorney, Mr. C.N. Spitt, Esq...
Shady also answers to the name Six-Finger Louie, a reference to the extra thumb in the middle of each palm...This rare condition makes for awkward handshakes, but aids him in his profession as a pickpocket...
A distant cousin (who prefers to remain distant) named PeePot Petey operates his own porta-potty rental and service franchise...Another cousin, Squinty, met an untimely death in the waters of the Grand Gayman Islands...
Lefty's Uncle Slappy is a stand-up comic who works the gay resort circuit of the mountains surrounding San Francisco...Lefty's nephew Stiffy is a young science student interested in building optical recorders for lesbian bathrooms...
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