Wearable technology is nothing new to towel boy Lefty, whose most well known example is the self-winding Timex he wears on his male member, theorizing that wearing it where the greatest motion is will assure accurate time...But Lefty says the line must be drawn somewhere as our clothing is beginning to infringe on our rights...
Lefty and the many other Hobby Airport area residents have embraced the new technology up to now, as many found the Google Glasses to be the answer to their voyeuristic tendencies, even convincing Lefty to put away the "x-ray specs" he bought through an ad in DC comics...The Google Hat, allowing the wearer to read the mind of any young lady he talks to, had mixed results for Lefty as it only worked on women whose IQ did not exceed his, clearly limiting his success...
Lefty did better with his Google Shoes whose tiny cameras interfaced with his Google Glasses, allowing him new views in studying anatomy on crowded elevators and escalators...The limits seemed to be reached however, with the announcement of Google Pants which, although having the advantage of a built-in front potato pouch, rear activated charcoal vapor filters and a "check underwear" light, they also sound an audible alarm when the wearer approaches the limits of any court-ordered restraining documents...
In Lefty's case, the only place he could go besides his rented shipping container home, was his mom's house to pick up his laundry, and his probation officer...With these restrictions, Lefty stopped wearing his pants in clear violation of his contractual obligations as a Google spokesmodel...
However, he found an unlikely ally in his landlord, an elderly, eccentric veteran of both world wars who often forgets to wear his own pants when venturing outside his own home...The veteran's long-suffering daughter, accustomed to bringing him his pants when called by security personnel at Home Depot, the VA Clinic or the C&D Burger Shoppe, says the new alliance of Google Pants Droppers may help draw attention away from her father, allowing her some much needed rest...
Shown below, Lefty and a friend await an opening in the crowded men's room of the Hobby Airport Courthouse...
