Lefty in the news...: Public Announcements & Legal Notices...

Public Announcements & Legal Notices...

Public...

I will not be responsible for any of my stupid brother's debts; public, private or court ordered...Signed: RHM

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Lost: Small book of betting slips with great sentimental value...Was pinned inside wedding veil left in men's room...No questions asked...Reward...

If found, return to Tony's Topless Paradise...Ask for Yugo...

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Found: One pair high heel shoes, size 2-EEEEE, under lesbian bath house locker room window...Owner may claim at Poofter Police Station property room...ID required...

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The Hobby Airport Lesbian Butch Scout Troop will hold its annual cookie sale fundraiser this Saturday...All cookies have been personally inspected by Honorary Scoutmaster Lefty, and are certified hair-free...

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The Braniff Street Poofter Astrology Service has been closed indefinitely due to unforeseen circumstances...We apologize for any inconvenience, and can't see for sure when we'll reopen...

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Legal...

The Hobby Airport Bath House District will hold its monthly board meeting every first Monday...Complaints, suggestions, bribe offers and special favors will be accepted from the public...Hobby Airport Poofter Police will be on duty to provide security against unruly mobs...Complainants should bring pajamas and lawyer's phone number...All others bring cash only...Signed: Dewey Cheatham, Treasurer...

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Nuisance Abatement Notice...The Houston City Council will hold a public meeting Thursday to discuss the condemnation and confiscation of assets of the Braniff Street Piano Roll Museum for numerous complaints of unpermitted construction, unlicensed business practices, soil permeation violations and disregard for air quality regulations...Signed: Annise Parker, Lesbian Mayor of Houston...

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The Poofter Court of the Hobby Airport Bath House District will hold its annual public auction of items seized in evidence at noon on the courthouse steps...Items include several Dewalt cordless drills, strap-on "entertainment devices" (batteries not included), hot tub repair kits (suitable for plywood pools) and several complete wardrobes of women's clothing in big & tall sizes...

Edible underwear in all genders has been donated to the Hobby Airport Food Bank...

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Notice of Lawsuit...

To: Lesbian Mayor Annise Parker of Houston...You have been sued for loss of Rolex watch, shoes, Armani suit and wallet...If my dignity and reputation had value, you would be sued for that too...

Respond to New York Judge Gaylord Sagmore and don't ask for a change of venue...Signed: New York State Poofter General...

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About Lefty...

Lefty is a sometimes unemployed, full time public nuisance who ekes out a living with his job as a towel boy in a Hobby Airport bath house catering to poofters and lesbians...He is the bane of existence for his landlord, an elderly, eccentric retired civil engineer, from whom he and his brother, RightHandMan (or simply RHM) rent a converted shipping container located behind the retiree's mansion next to the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...

Lefty is very ingenious in his own way as he attempts to augment his lifestyle at the expense of the unknowing public...He often appears in news items around the world, which must be interpreted to reveal his presence...

His libido is sometimes questioned by those around him, but it is believed his main pleasure comes from observing gullible lesbians who tolerate his appearances, just as he tolerates the gay world which he and his sissy brother inhabit...

About Truckman...

Truckman is the author of this blog, and as such, must assume the mantle of blame for its content...He apparently finds humor where others only see jabs and insults hurled at their personal icons...Of this he cares little, and doesn't even mind when stones are flung back at him...

He is an enigmatic figure, preferring to dwell in the shadowy places where you can be assured he is always watchful...His blind spots seem to be the women with whom he chooses to link himself...They are the sources of many of the scars he bears in life, and although he emerges from these contacts bloodied, he goes forth with renewed confidence...

His personal code is as inflexible as he is resilient, as he begins each day expecting nothing, and prepared for all...He is a friend to those who value his friendship, and a wise choice to avoid for the ne'er-do-wells...His personal motto is: "Cogito, ergo boom!"... Roughly translated from Latin, it means "I think, therefore I carry a .45"...

In his many and varied careers, Truckman gained the most notoriety as a parody producer as seen on YouTube...But alas, Hollywood and the big-money left-wing production companies have conspired to keep his name out of the nominations for Best Parody at the Academy Awards...The only reason the young starlets seek his company anymore is the obvious one...

A word concerning character portrayals...

Some characters represented are based on members of this discussion board:http://www.crackerbarrelphilosophers.com...Their on-forum personalities were distorted to generate humor...Other characters are public personalities drawn from the news, or from imagination...No insult or harm was intended toward anyone...

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for fair use for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

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