On the international newsfront...

Well, as we all know, Mondays are traditionally a slow news day among the South Houston poofter community due to the fact most of them are devout members of the orthodox wing of the Temple of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity, and thus celebrate their Sabbath between 6PM Sunday and 4AM Tuesday...

That being the case, we found this item on the international news desk:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/07/05/us-hongkong-ninawang-idUSBRE9630FX20130705

The wealthy Hong Kong billionairess, who was known as Manchu Dong before his/her experimental Danish surgery in the late fifties, died unexpectedly in a mysterious kitchen appliance accident...The last will & testament of the deceased, who is said to descended from Emperor Manchu Dong who founded the Dong Dynasty, has been challenged in court by an unemployed Chinese towel boy whose name cannot be translated into English, but is pronounced: "Lef Ti"...

Lef Ti has introduced an alternative will written ten minutes before his/her death found written on the men's room wall at the grand opening of the Hong Kong WalMart in blue magic marker...The late billionairess's family representatives have filed affidavits showing that he/she had never visited a public restroom and was also allergic to Magic Marker ink...

While the Chinese probate court sorts out the competing wills, Lef Ti faces deportation hearings related to locker room pilfering charges from a Singapore bath house...At press time, no country has been found which will accept Lef Ti if the government is successful in obtaining the deportation warrant...

Update bulletin: The court has rejected Lef Ti's claim of a will written on a men's room wall...Lef Ti subsequently submitted a "text message will" he claims the billionaire sent him moments before his death (seen below)...

More World News articles...

Complete crossdresser from 2,200 years ago found at Terracotta Poofter site...

http://www.ancient-origins.net/news-history-archaeology/excellently-preserved-crossbow-2200-years-ago-terracotta-020269

The famous site of the Terracotta Army excavation in the Chinese interior has yielded another amazing find...Honorable Master Lef Ti of the PF Chang Laundry & Poofter Academy reports the discovery of an intact terracotta crossdresser in the area of an ancient Chinese bath house believed to be buried for enjoyment by the terracotta army soldiers who guard the burial site...

The site has long been known as the final resting place of the homo Emperor Manchu Dong, who ruled this province of China 2,200 years ago, and was believed responsible for many improvements in Chinese bath house living...For example, he established regular towel service by dedicated towel boys which replaced the practice of rolling in the grass after exiting a communal shower room...

Having a lifelong fascination with dolls, he built an army of terracotta soldiers to guard his tomb, and now it is thought he built a bath house populated by terracotta poofter servant dolls to service his army...The crossdresser is amazingly detailed with low-cut evening gown and matching handbag and high heels...

Master Lef Ti also hopes to link the finding of several earthen bottles of a beer like substance to the ancient brewery site in the Lower Mesopotamia valley where Igoleft the Lesser and his brother began the powerful brewing dynasty which later deteriorated to today's Hamm's beer...Lef Ti seems to find delight that this theory would disprove the conclusions assembled by his American counterpart, Professor Lefty of the Institute for Advanced Lesbian Studies...

Master Lef Ti and his research assistant, Rili Huang Min (RHM) on loan from the Hanzhob Peoples' Poofter Collective, are confident this finding will revolutionize bath house history...Pictured below is one of the terracotta soap bars found dropped on the floor of the excavation site's shower room, which Master Lef Ti says bear strong resemblance to the Dove soap bars favored by modern poofters...

More Science & Technology articles...