Vice Commodore Lefty (Ret.) of the Mounted Horse Marines has announced changes in the rotation schedule for the next major Marine deployment...When it was made known that the assignment would be "down under," the volunteer list was suddenly filled with every lesbian in the Corps, including some male cross-dressers awaiting their gender reassignment surgeries in the VA Clinic...
Comm. Lefty himself has asked for reinstatement to active duty as an observer in all barracks, nude beach and massage parlor operations in this important military undertaking...Filing his briefs, the Commodore said, "This deployment will demand the strictest attention to detail in assuring these rugmunchers perform their duties in an orderly, proficient military manner, and my vast experience in observing lesbians will be invaluable to the Corps"...
New recruit and former deputy, Dumpy Bunny, assigned to Military Police duties vowed to strictly enforce all military dress codes (including cross-dress codes) by performing on the spot strip searches of all lesbians suspected of padding their portfolios...When asked why she volunteered for this mission, she stated, "Because it's down under, and that's where the action is"...
A former Utah National Guard member, now known only as Father X, will serve as the unit's chaplain and will offer the blessings of St. Britney to all believers, and additionally will closely regulate the issuance of Coors ration cards by sampling random purchases from the base liquor store...
Shown below are some of the sacred religious artifacts entrusted to Chaplain X, and used in the performance of his spiritual duties...
I always bless the COORS too so we have a back-up supply of Holy Water. - Utah Bill
ReplyDeleteIt of course bears repeating that the alcoholic content of holy water is generally higher than Coors...
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