In a statement clearly designed to raise the ire of senior US bath house officials, radical Islamic poofter, Iranian Minister of Steamrooms, Ayatollah Leph te Rashitch, has challenged American bath house sportsmen to produce a fighter to go up against their new British champion...Iranian born Liqit Youssef was crowned sissyweight champion of the Islamic State United Kingdom (ISUK) last night in a quick decision over french challenger, Florian LePoof...
LePoof cried "foul" at the decision, saying he was momentarily overcome by what he termed as "an unfair advantage"...The ISUK champion is known to consume a ritual lunch of curdled goat cheese and Red Sea sardine sandwiches before every bout, ensuring that his breath also has a knockout punch...
Ayatollah Leph te boasted that all American fighters are weaklings, and no one can stand up to the jihad punch of Liqit Youssef...US poofters quickly fired back an answer, saying that ranked contender RHM can go the distance with any ISUK sissyweight...
Although RHM has had no championship bouts, he has already fought to a standstill in exhibition matches with gay pornstar, Arnold Swollenpecker, and lesbian nude oil wrestler, Mazola Mcleglock...But they say his main advantage is that he lives with his brother Lefty, who is also his trainer/manager, and has been immune all his life to the garbage-dump breath that is said to be Liqit Youssef's "secret weapon"...
In a hastily called press conference, Manager Lefty stated that RHM has the full backing of the prestigious Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium in any match, sanctioned or not...Said Lefty, "My boy will go jihad all over this skinny muslim's butt whether it's in the ring or in a back alley"...
Las Vegas oddsmakers are calling this match an even bet as neither fighter has a punch hard enough to knock over a sick cat...However, bidding is already skyrocketing from concessionaires looking for exclusive rights to sell Febreze and oxygen masks at what is almost certain to be an open-air fight...
In a slap at Manager Lefty's profession as a towel boy, the Ayatollah said he should remember to steal a bath house towel to throw in the ring after Youssef knocks RHM out...Lefty replied that Youssef should try to borrow LePoof's white flag to hang on his pants pole to signal a quick surrender as he enters the ring...
In this unusual bout, the highest priced seats are said to be the ones farthest from the ring, and consequently from the smell...RHM has been seen at the Taco Bell training table (pictured below) everyday working to get his weight up to the minimum 89 pounds for the sissyweight class...
