Friday, October 24, 2014

ISUK Security Official Claims Virgins Separated From Captured Livestock, Given as Award to Fighters...

http://www.christianpost.com/news/isis-security-official-claims-virgins-separated-from-captured-women-given-as-award-to-fighters-128355/

In an obvious taunt directed at US poofters, radical gay Islamic Ayatollah Leph te Rashitch today told interviewers that as a result of the split decision in the sissyweight exhibition fight between the Islamic State United Kingdom (ISUK) champion, Liqit Youssef, and rank contender, RHM, who represents US poofters, all ISUK fighters are now awarded with virgin goats captured from British goat farmers...The Ayatollah said the humiliation suffered by Youssef in the ring was unforgivable as RHM refused to go down for, or on, the ISUK champ...



As reported earlier, the Ayatollah had boasted that no fighter could withstand the jihad punch or lethal breath of Youssef in the ring, especially after he consumed his pre-match ritual lunch of curdled goat cheese and Red Sea sardine sandwiches...But it didn't work that way as RHM's trainer Lefty explained, "Ordinarily Youssef's breath would knock over a Buick, but RHM grew up in my family, so Youssef's breath was nothing more than fresh air to him"...

A rematch is already being touted as neither fighter landed a blow in the ring, although some blows may have been exchanged in the locker room as Youssef was said to have found RHM attractive "for an infidel"...Trainer Lefty said of the possible rematch, "At least when Youssef decides to throw in the towel, he won't have to reach far"...

Lefty also said that RHM has been at the Taco Bell training table every day packing down the calories, and may exceed the 89 pound minimum sissyweight requirement by as much as two or three pounds this time...Meanwhile, Ayatollah Leph te, who also serves as Iranian Minister of Steamrooms, boasts that Youssef has begun a training regimen that includes fighting off the advances of Turkish oil wrestlers (shown below) to toughen him up...

The Turks were said to have a name for Youssef which cannot be spoken by Western tongues, but translates roughly to "the breath of a thousand knobsuckers"...Oddsmakers in Las Vegas are giving even odds that Youssef will apply for a US visa to pursue a new romantic interest, and perhaps change in religion...

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