"Abe" Faces Pole Balancing Act After Commanding Erection Victory...

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-12-14/abe-faces-policy-balancing-act-after-commanding-election-victory.html

Learning from his mistakes of the past, Japan's Poofter Minister (PM) "Abe" immediately sought a vote of confidence in a new erection, but then faced a new challenge due to an overlooked point of parliamentary procedure...The disgraced former Trade Minister (TM), lesbian Sukyu Longdime, called for a motion unseen since the Hirohito regime...

The so-called "parlor trick" provision of Japanese law was reinstated following WWII during which it was suspended by Army General Togo, whose penile shortcomings were an unending source of embarrassment...Prior to the war a Poofter Minister could be called upon by Parliament to perform an acrobatic act to prove his worthiness after an erection victory, but the move since fell into disuse...

Former TM Longdime, knowing personally of "Abe's" inability to perform before an audience, demanded he prove his erection victory was legitimate by balancing a spinning basketball on the end of it for one minute..."Abe" immediately called a parliamentary recess to consult with the visiting Harlem Globetrotters team for advice, none of which were available due to contractual commitments elsewhere...

As we know, Japanese Poofter Ministers have great respect for US Presidents which is why they all assume the name of a former President when they take their oaths of office...PM "Abe" immediately thought of his overseas friend Barack, and discreetly contacted the White House through diplomatic channels...

From his oval hot tub, Barack then dispatched UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty to Tokyo with instructions to help "Abe" achieve a balanced position...Lefty recalled his long experience with a traveling circus, and soon had the PM performing his act in true Meadowlark Lemon fashion...

Lefty also demonstrated why he is the poofter world's "go to guy" for diplomatic difficulties when he assuaged lesbian Sukyu Longdime's hurt feelings by making her the centerpiece in his own "spinner" exhibition using his own protuberance in an after hours performance at the Tokyo Bath House & Poofter Parliament...Shown below, "Abe" gets some help with gastro-intestinal pressure release just before his parliamentary performance...

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Japan's trade minister resigns amid scandal, a blow to PM Abe...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/japans-trade-minister-resigns-amid-scandal-a-blow-to-pm-abe/2014/10/19/c13a94cf-c2c5-4f01-bffc-d9aeb0af46a0_story.html

Japan's lesbian Trade Minister, Sukyu Longdime, resigned today amid the flurry of anger caused by the blow given to the government's Poofter Minister (PM) "Abe"...[Editor's note: Japanese poofters are known only by their aliases in Japan, and many choose the names of US Presidents...]

Common practice in Asian diplomatic matters calls for a reciprocal blow to be arranged between the representatives by a trade minister before any serious discussions...Japan's newly appointed lesbo TM was not completely familiar with oriental poofter protocol, and scheduled a two-way blow between the high-ranking PM "Abe" and a low caste Chinese towel boy named Lef Ti...

"Abe" accepted his blow from Lef Ti, but then refused to live up to his end of the trade, calling for a cup of tea instead...The refusal to honor the trade agreement sent shock waves through Asian diplomatic channels all the way to the director of China's Ministry of Laundry, Hu Flung Dung, who holds Lef Ti in high regard...

As angry words quickly escalated to talks of war, "Abe" called on the Secretary of Japan's Navy (with it's high concentration of gays), Rear Admiral "Barack" who immediately backed up "Abe's" position with threats of a strongly worded protest...Military action was quickly averted, however, with the decision by "Abe" to throw TM Longdime under the bus as punishment for arranging the trade...

"Abe" said in a press release, "Dumb lesbo spend time changing oil under bus, maybe learn lesson"...It was learned later that although "Abe" initially thought Lef Ti was cute, he couldn't stomach his unusual odor resulting from his diet of Taco Bell green chili burritos...

As peaceful talks resumed, "Abe" sent a bouquet of Japanese fish tacos to the Chinese embassy as a token of appeasement...Pictured below are "Barack" and "Abe" as they exchange the traditional Japanese poofter greeting before attending to business matters...

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Japan, China ruling poofter parties to resume exchanges...

http://the-japan-news.com/news/article/0002030003

With the recent power shift in the Chinese bath house hierarchy, a degree of normalcy may return to Asian poofter society...Veteran administrator Hu Flung Dung has returned to the seat of power as China's Director of the Ministry of Laundry, which oversees all bath house and poofter entertainment operations...

Former Laundry Minister Lef Ti will be relegated to a position as assistant towel boy in the Beijing Peoples' Poofter Collective after he successfully completes a re-education process in the Hanzhob District of the remote interior regions of China...He will be instructed in obedience to the poofter traditions by Showermaster Rili Huang Min (RHM) who some sources claim is a distant relative of Lef Ti...

Meanwhile, as Hu Flung Dung resumes power, analysts predict a warming of relations between Chinese and Japanese bath house factions...The power struggle between national nude sumo oil wrestling representatives has been replaced by talk of an exhibition match of the popular sport between the team of former nude lesbian oil wrestling champion Mazola McLeglock with her partner midget lesbian amateur fighter Dumpy Bunny, versus a Sino-Japanese team...

An informal bath house poll suggests the team of 650 pound Chinese sumo champion Hef Ti and midget Japanese oil wrestler Dinki Winki would draw a huge crowd against the lesbian pair...Sports writers are already suggesting that the lesbian team has an unfair advantage if Dumpy Bunny attempts to use her shrill, annoying voice to shatter Hef Ti's titanium knee hinges...

One of the potential sponsors of the match, Gorilla ® Brand Duct Tape, says the use of its product together with a tennis ball will prevent the problem...A meeting between Japanese Poofter Minister (PM) "Abe" and Chinese Laundry Director Dung is already scheduled in an effort to work out any hard feelings...

Shown below, Japanese Trade Minister (TM) Sukyu Longdime and a lesbian assistant prepare seating mats together with a derivative of Hamm's beer for the traditional BJ exchange between the two poofter leaders...

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China asserts its clout as sumo heavyweight...

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/asiapacific/china-asserts-its-clout/1702308.html

Seeking to expand its influence in the Asian bath house world, China's Ministry of Laundry has announced its entry into the previously all Japanese sport of nude sumo oil wrestling...The move was not unexpected after the signing of retired nude lesbian oil wrestling champion Mazola McLeglock as spokesperson for the state-owned Slippi Slidee Oil Co...

It has long been known that Laundry Minister Lef Ti has wanted to take some glory away from Poofter Minister (PM) "Abe" of the Japanese bath house industry, and it is thought he plans to bring shame to "Abe" by bringing the heavyweight crown to China...Rumors have been rampant of a secret training camp inside the Hanzhob Peoples' Poofter Collective where Showermaster Rili Huang Min (RHM) has been beefing up a select group of poofters to enter the ring...

In an effort to minimize the prowess of the Chinese sumo wrestlers, PM "Abe" has drawn on centuries of Japanese tradition to humiliate the Chinese interlopers...In a surprise move he has even suggested a closed-circuit warm-up match between the retired Ms. McLeglock and the Japanese lesbian Trade Minister (TM) Sukyu Longdime, saying that even an amateur can beat China's hired gun...

But analysts think "Abe's" ploy may only be a delaying move while his champion sumos have a chance to bulk up on sushi burritos and a rice beer said to smell like a boiling pot of dirty gym socks...The beer is based on a close copy of the formula for the American bath house favorite Hamm's, but is said to have suffered some in the translation...

Meanwhile the secret photo below has leaked out purporting to show the Chinese heavyweight team performing the traditional release of built up gas pressure before beginning an exhibition match...Lef Ti is shown in the background accepting side bets...

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Taco Bell Makes Runs for Japan’s Border...

http://www.wsj.com/articles/taco-bell-makes-a-run-for-japans-border-1424935193

Making a serious bid for the Asian poofter market, Taco Bell announces the start of construction on several new restaurants adjacent to popular gay bath houses in Tokyo...Japan's Poofter Minister (PM) "Abe" welcomes the change in menu for poofters saying, "We tired  of fish tacos all time, lesbian side of bath house smell like tuna boat anyway"...

It is believed "Abe" (who, like other Japanese poofter leaders, assumed the name of an American President) was referring to the poofter favorite, Green Chili Burritos, from the Taco Bell menu...The delicacy was all but unheard of in Asia until gay dictator, Kim Jong-un of North Korea, brought it to Asia's attention by banning it in his country under penalty of beheading...

But thanks to the diplomatic inroads made by Chinese Minister of Laundry Lef Ti, North Korean bath houses now serve the item to preferred clients on a strict rationing basis...Penalties for over-consumption have been reduced from mandatory death to long sentences of chopping kindling for Kim's wood-fired hot tubs...

UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty is slated for the grand opening of the first Tokyo Taco Bell, and will be presented a symbolic key to the city's men's room by PM "Abe"...The traditional trade of BJ's between the two dignitaries will be performed by recently reinstated Trade Minister Sukyu Longdime, who as a lesbian accepted the assignment as atonement for her attempted coup over "Abe"...

Pictured below, the first Japanese Taco Bell prepares for big crowds on opening day with additional essential service facilities...

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