Tuesday, March 24, 2015

China’s illegal belly-oil trade could be used to power lights...

http://qz.com/368727/chinas-illegal-gutter-oil-trade-could-be-used-to-power-flights/

A little known and almost unnoticed method used by Chinese towel boys to fatten their own wallets may prove to be another tool in the fight to conserve energy...Deposed Laundry Minister and now Oil Minister in China's government, Hu Flung Dung always looks for new charges against his former friend and towel boy, now Minister of Laundry, Lef Ti...

While on a routine inspection of the Beijing Peoples' Poofter Collective bath house, Dung noticed some towel boys behaving in a peculiar manner...After mopping off the accumulated sweat from between the fat rolls under their poofter clients' bellies, the towel boys wrung the towels out into buckets before turning them in to the laundry...

Curious as to their motives, he followed them after their shifts ended, noting they poured the liquid into a discarded washing machine and used the spin cycle to de-emulsify the product, thereby separating the glandular oil from the sweat and Dove soap residue...They then used the oil to power their Coleman bicycle lamps to light their way home...

Oil Minister Dung immediately realized the value of the process, further observing that the lights burned extremely brightly while giving off little heat...He then banished the towel boys to the remote Hanzhob People's Poofter Collective for re-education since they were using government owned resources for their own gain...

Afterwards Dung filed an international patent on the process in the name of the state-owned Slippi Slidee Oil Co. in which he is said to be a minor shareholder...At this moment, Laundry Minister Lef Ti is said to be on hands and knees before the Chinese Central Council trying to explain why such an oversight could occur under his direction...

Political analysts speculate that the Ministry of Laundry will soon be under the direction of Hu Flung Dung again, while Lef Ti, if he is lucky, will once again find himself folding towels in a bath house laundry...Pictured below is an innovative new design in a combination men's room and laundry for use in the newer space-efficient bath houses in crowded Chinese urban centers...

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