A chance passing by entrepreneur and presidential candidate Phillbo may have been all that saved a towel boy and amateur muffdiving champion from an untimely demise...The incident occurred 12,000 feet above the Arizona desert where members of the Olympic muffdiving team were attempting to set a new nude freefall record while maintaining a number of Kama Sutra positions simultaneously...
Olympic athlete and athletic supporter Lefty followed nude lesbian oil wrestler Mazola McLeglock out of the aircraft closely pursued by gay pornstar Arnold Swollenpecker, who was acting as official timekeeper and photographer...After starting his stopwatch, Swollenpecker noticed it had not been calibrated, and quickly decided to synchronize with Lefty's timepiece...
Lefty is known for wearing his Bulova on his phallic member since it is a self-winding movement, and is more likely to stay accurate in that location...Lefty and Ms. McLeglock had already begun their sequence of movements, and as Swollenpecker seized the watch, Lefty thought his dive partner was introducing a new twist to their routine...
Enjoying the moment, he lost track of their altitude and momentarily forgot about pulling the ripcord...Fortunately for all, presidential hopeful Phillbo was passing in freefall from the International Space Station where he had hung a banner from the ISS advertising his candidacy...
Instantly realizing what was happening below him, and calculating he had just enough time to avert a tragedy, he deployed his wingsuit and guided his fall towards the trio where he managed to pull Lefty's ripcord while Swollenpecker was still pulling the towel boy's manhood...The resulting sudden jerk from the chute opening failed to loosen Swollenpecker's grip, but Phillbo still scooped up Ms. McLeglock and carried her to safety with his own parachute, landing in a nearby nudist resort...
As of this writing, Lefty is still in traction at a local long term care facility where he is said to have temporarily lost interest in any amorous activities...Mr. Swollenpecker reports he still has Lefty's Bulova and will return it to him when he resumes duty at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...
Meanwhile Phillbo modestly told reporters he didn't consider himself a hero, having done the same thing any other well-qualified presidential candidate would have done...Ms. McLeglock is said to be enjoying her new fame, and has accepted a position as nude yoga instructor for the lesbians at the nudist resort where she landed...
Shown below, Ms. McLeglock and her class pose to say hello to Lefty just before entering the shower after a yoga session...Lefty is said to have asked for additional pain killers after seeing the picture...
