Poofter President Putin of Russia is still stinging from the cancellation of delivery of his personal hot tub, as the Russian leader still adjusts to the gay lifestyle he has adopted...Formerly a hetero-only tyrant, he saw the political winds changing, and bent with them to accept the changes and be included among the world powers as a gay despot...
However, he failed to anticipate how his locker room jokes about homos would offend the hard-core rump rangers from the homeland of homosexuality...He happened to mention one day after a soap-dropping session in the UN communal shower room that 75% of all French men were born gay, and the other 25% were sucked into it, then stood stunned at the absolute dead silence in the locker room...
The fun loving Putin then watched as the French delegate, Florian LePoof, stalked angrily away, while realization of his faux pas dawned on him...Returning to his bachelor quarters in the Kremlin, he found a notice that his custom hot tub, ordered from the prestigious Tubs 'R' Us market in Paris had been cancelled, and his refund must first be approved by the French government's gay premiere...
In a quandary over how to fix the problem without losing face among other dictators, he called upon his former towel boy, and now Commissar of Poofter Collectives, the enigmatic Leftovsky...Working through back channels in the maze of diplomatic connections, Leftovsky learned that protocol demanded a public apology and televised BJ's for both Ambassador LePoof and the French Premiere from Putin himself...
Knowing this would be unacceptable to Putin, Leftovsky delved into gay European history at the Library of Poofter Studies in the prestigious Université Paris-Sore Bone, and soon found the precedent he needed...In 18th century France, the lesbian Queen Marie Antoinette and her limp-wristed consort, Louis XVI, were allowed to send substitutes to the guillotine to satisfy the people's blood lust, while they were whisked away to exile in the nude beach principality of Cap de'Agde for life...
A lookalike for Putin, gay pornstar Arnold Swollenpecker, was contracted for the televised event, broadcast on Paris educational television for all grade levels above six, and Swollenpecker got the career boost he needed in the fiercely competitive gay porn industry...As Putin awaits his forthcoming refund check, he demonstrated his manly prowess by leading a bare-chested attack against a Ukrainian lesbian scout camp in his own personal tank, as depicted below...
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