Lefty to rescue porn industry...

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/07/27/can-superhero-parodies-rescue-the-porn-business/2592913/

After hearing that the much maligned porn industry was in danger of collapsing, Lefty has made it his mission to rescue skin flicks from oblivion...Since his chief rival, Arnold Swollenpecker, decided to devote his attention to all-male gay porn, Lefty has assumed the nom-de-plume, Lance Bentrod, and has announced his full time focus will now be on lesbian porn videos...

After his performance in the bath house expose, "Men In Back," was deemed a flop (one review called his acting "flaccid"), Lefty has announced his next film will follow the popular mainstream superhero genre...The working title is "Muff Divers In Paradise," in which he attempts to rescue the lesbian faculty of an all girls reform school from the evil team of Wonder Woman and Aquagirl...

RHM who was signed on as costume designer, has been fired for insisting that costumes for the mermaid sequence feature the fish bodies on the top half of the actresses...The producers have decided to retain his design for motorized propellor codpieces in the scuba diver rescue sequence even though the Porn Actors Guild insisted on extra liability insurance...

Update: RHM has rejoined the production crew following his creative dispute over costume design...A compromise was worked out in which the mermaids will have fish bodies from the neck to the knees...Lefty OK'ed the change as long as their speaking roles are reduced so as to free up their other oral talents...

In a related story, roving entertainment reporter Dan files this exclusive story, "Speaking of rescuing porn, as you know Lefty was featured in today's Conroe Chroniclum for his rescue of Madame Twatzworth's traveling trollop troupe off the sinking showboat SS Beaver, after it struck a reef, while the Captain was smoking one, in Lake Conroe. Lefty single-handedly jumped in, his other hand on his pant's protrusion, which the ladies used as an oar, in addition to their profession. Lefty, thanks to having bean burritos for lunch, was able to inflate his undies and the ladies paddled with his oar back to shore, during which time Lefty had four organisms. The local Coast Guard report mentioned his great 'semenship'..."

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