In a last minute vote switch, the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium narrowly averted a shutdown which might have affected the entire South Houston bath house district...The neighboring bath houses, massage parlors, tanning salons and other houses of horizontal refreshment carefully watched the proceedings of the Bath House Appropriations Committee as they wrangled over details of the budget...
The main objections were raised over the daily split of the various tip jars used in department operations...Bath house senior officials wanted an independent daily audit of the tip jars before the contents were divided among the participants...Towel boy representative Lefty vehemently objected to this, repeatedly yelling, "Whats'a matter?...You don't trust me?"...
Senior men's room attendant RHM stated for the record he had no objection to an audit, but was shouted down by his detractors who say his independent wealth overshadows the tip jar proceeds anyway...RHM's successful men's lingerie boutique located in leased space inside the men's room comes up for lease negotiations next year in which he is expected to downplay his profits in an effort to maintain current rent levels...
Hot Tub Safety Committee Chairman, Big "Tiny" Balsac, argued for increased spending on springboard suspension upgrades due to the massively elevated average weight of poofters using the facilities...Balsac said, "Last year I could squeeze six of these fat homos into one hot tub, and now it's all I can do to shoehorn four of them in the same tub"...
Bath house security guard and midget lesbian, Deputy Dumpy Bunny, demanded in her shrill, annoying voice that the budget provide for increased repair materials for the holes which mysteriously appear from the towel boys' locker room into the nude lesbian yoga classroom...Yoga instructor Mazola McLeglock suggested a nude oil wrestling competition to settle the committee differences, but was voted down after being seconded by Lefty...
At the final vote, towel boy representative Lefty, who is known to be a switch-hitter anyway, switched his vote on a promise of free lunch for committee members, allowing the budget measure to pass...Shown below, budget committee members take their mandatory outdoor after-lunch ventilation break to avoid indoor air quality deterioration after two-for-one burrito hour at Taco Bell...
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