As expected by church officials, Monsignor RHM of the Temple of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity has stepped down from his position as archbishop of the Hobby Airport diocese after his public criticism of Father Lefty who gave his seal of approval to a startup temple in the middle of the Moab desert...The temple's High Council on Ecumenical Standards ruled this week that Father Lefty's actions were in keeping with church canons as long as all standard bribes were listed as tithes, and if the usual split was made with High Council members...
But the splinter group, headed by the enigmatic cloaked figure known only as Father X, continues to draw criticism from the far-flung outposts of the religion's widely scattered believers...Brother Kevin Reynolds of the Upper New York diocese, who has not spoken a sentence containing more than three words since donning his monastic robes, broke his vow of silence in a scathing rebuttal of the sanction...
Brother Kevin was especially critical of Father X's choice of conveyance between altars, using over 15,000 words to say why the Ford diesel pickup is more suitable than the Dodge Cummins choice of the newly ordained priest...He then launched into a lengthy diatribe explaining why Genessee Stout is the holy liquid of true believers rather than the Coors used by Father X in his ritual self-blessings...
Even layman MGrist of the North Carolina diocese was skeptical whether Father X's Russian military motorcycle could have held together long enough to find St. Britney's oasis in the desert unless the sidecar was filled with spare parts...He said his belief remains in the Holy Grail of two-wheel transportation, the Harley Davidson panhead...
In the midst of the controversy, the newly installed Archbishop Lefty has invited representatives of the ecumenical council to join him on a pilgrimage to the desert tabernacle where they may witness for themselves, providing one of them will allow traveling costs to be put on a church VISA card since his is temporarily maxxed out...Father X has promised them they will be personally attended to by at least three of his spare wives each during their stay if they agree to be housed in the newly built Motel 6 on the temple grounds at a discounted rate...
Archbishop Lefty has vowed his cooperation in the spiritual investigation saying the council members will see the cleanliness of his spirit as they count the blessings left in his offering plate by the faithful...Meanwhile Monsignor RHM has resumed his duties as men's room attendant at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium in sackcloth and ashes where he continues to encourage tax-deductible tithes to his tip jar pictured below...
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are welcome...Malicious messages and spam attempts will be removed...Keep it clean and let's have fun...