The bizarre incident that escalated into a nationwide debate and threatened to open a rift between education's elite and business owners has been settled amicably...It began as Professor Lefty of the Institute for Advanced Lesbian Studies attempted to return a battery-operated "entertainment device" he had rented for use in a research experiment he was performing...
Before returning it to his rental inventory in his male lingerie boutique, business owner RHM told the professor he would be charged an additional four dollars as a "clean-up fee" to remove the unusual smell attached to the device, which was said to be reminiscent of the "men's room door on a long-haul tuna boat"...Professor Lefty objected, saying the smell was there when he rented it although his girlfriend and research subject, nude lesbian oil wrestler Mazola McLeglock, didn't seem to notice...
RHM then insisted on the charge, saying it would have to be cash only since the credit card he originally used had been cancelled by its owner, an elderly eccentric neighbor who thought it was being used to pick up his daily ration of Corona Extra from Spec's Liquor Store...The professor became indignant, calling the action an insult against the education profession by the capitalist bourgeoisie, and claimed he would start a protest demonstration against RHM...
He quickly changed his mind when Deputy Dumpy Bunny, a midget lesbian member of the Hobby Airport Poofter Police, was summoned to the scene and, seeming to recognize Professor Lefty, began looking through active bench warrants...The professor then said he would have to get the cash from his wallet which he had left in the locker room of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...
Returning shortly to pay the fee, he left hurriedly saying he didn't want to be late for a scheduled lecture he was preparing on the mating habits of obese lesbians...The deputy then excused herself in her squeaky, irritating voice to answer a sudden call concerning a missing wallet in the locker room of a nearby bath house...
Shown below, Professor Lefty hitches a ride to the lecture hall with one of his students...
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