North Korea Denies Hacking LeftyInTheNews but Calls Attack a ‘Righteous Deed’...

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/08/business/north-korea-denies-hacking-sony-but-calls-attack-a-righteous-deed.html?_r=0

The recent cyber attack on the well-respected news analysis source, LeftyInTheNews, thought to be the amateurish effort of North Korea's poofter dictator, Kim Jong-un, is being described by the despot as "righteous, but not my doing"...Speaking out from his heavily guarded compound deep in the mist-covered forests of Conroe, the mysterious publisher and entrepreneur Truckman answered Kim's denial, saying, "The truth stands alone"...

As usual, the inscrutable Truckman's words may have many meanings, but the message here is clear: he feels that the ineffective slap at his impenetrable cyber defenses can only be the work of an asiatic madman bent on ruling the world from the homoerotic fantasy world he created in his own hot tub...Truckman's keen senses see past the smokescreen of laughable subterfuge the dictator has thrown up in hopes of hiding his true aims of poofter world dominance...

Even Truckman's natural opponents agree that although his beliefs are often diametrically opposed to their own, his reporting and publishing style is impartial and balanced, leaving no doubt as to the veracity of his words...Indeed his own greedy, jezebel ex-wives are forced to agree that although their plans to rob him blind were thwarted, they were dealt with in an unprejudiced manner as their evil plots were ignominiously defeated...

At the expense of being ridiculed even by his own kind, Kim Jong-un continues to deny responsibility while praising the effort, "I not do it, but was good idea!...Where my rubber ducky?!"...His close compatriot, former lowly towel boy and now Director of China's Ministry of Laundry, Lef Ti, had this statement, "Sissy poofter should have learned to stay in own bath house, leave Truckman alone!"...

Well known towel boy Lefty, of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium commented, "Who the hell is Truckman?...Got any spare change?"...Loitering nearby, bath house security guard and midget lesbian, Deputy Dumpy Bunny said in her squeaky, irritating voice, "Somebody pass the chicken wings"...

As worldwide opinion continues to lean heavily against the absurd refutal by the fat, preposterous North Korean tyrant, Truckman issued this guarded warning, "Kim should keep his head down and shut up before somebody in my parody studio decides to make a video about him"...Pictured below is North Korea's latest warship preparing to do simulated battle in the Asian war games...

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