Terror-stricken hackers, embarrassed over their failure to breach on-line security defenses set by Truckman Industries, have resorted to outright lies in an attempt to bluff their way past Truckman's refusal to acknowledge their laughable demands...The terrorist school dropouts employed by North Korean poofter dictator, Kim Jong-un, hit a brick wall in their amateurish efforts to breach the impenetrable cyber obstacles employed by Truckman's security professionals...
Since first reporting the failed attack, LeftyInTheNews has learned that the gay North Korean tyrant almost swallowed his soap-on-a-rope when informed of the defeat of his toadies at the foot of Truckman's firewall, and threatened them with decapitation if they failed a second time...Foaming at the mouth in his hot tub, the pudgy despot screamed at his internet warriors, "You get through firewall, or back to washy-washy laundry for you!!"...
It is thought that the clownish dictator was referring to his bath house laundry facility where his political enemies who escaped execution are doomed to a lifetime of servitude removing skidmarks from the towels soiled by the activities of him and his bath house cabinet members...It was learned today that after reading of Truckman's offhand comment concerning reactivating his video production studio to produce a parody of the events, he turned purple with rage, and warned his fawning henchmen to do something about it, or else...
As we know, the video unit was mostly used as a diversion from college studies for Truckman's many adorable nieces who reside with him on the sprawling grounds of Truckman Estates...The studio was idled as many of the beautiful young women were admitted to out-of-state universities, but a few dozen of the gorgeous young ladies recently volunteered to reactivate the facility on their winter break from school, and began pre-production work on a video featuring the ridiculous Asian oppressor...
Rumors have now surfaced in diplomatic channels that Kim's horrified hackers have pleaded with UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty to intervene if he has any influence with Truckman...Lefty, shown below in the reception lobby of the Hobby Airport UN Embassy, stated that if a sixer of Hamm's beer showed up in his diplomatic pouch, he'd consider it...
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