North Korea's deranged homo leader, Kim Jong-un, in his attempt to raise his status as a major player in international poofter affairs, is being seen today in his usual role, a laughable buffoon...The photo array released by the Korean butt pirate was carefully examined by an independent image analyst, hired at great expense by Truckman Publishing, and the results conclusively show Kim to be lying through his teeth, as usual...
Our analyst verified that the photos of the submarine launch were not taken in the North Pacific, but in a poofter hot tub, probably the one in Kim's private quarters...The vessel is undoubtedly one that the gay Korean leader uses in the "naval exercises" he imagines as he reclines in his tub after a long day executing his relatives...
On close examination, the "missile" purportedly being launched is a nerf rocket with Toys'R'Us tag still attached as seen through the steam from his wood-fired hot tub...The propulsion system for the rocket is not the toy store provided air pump, but likely a hose leading from the toy sub to an unseen underwater source...
A soon-to-be-executed source close to the unhinged dictator verified on pleas of anonymity that Kim enjoys inserting a rubber hose into an unnamed body orifice while eating a plate of Taco Bell green chili burritos in the tub, and surprising any guest tub-mates with a blast of digestive emissions...It is thought he used this system to launch the nerf rocket, substantiated by the vapor trail seen following the toy...
If this is true, the vapor trail itself is likely far more deadly than the "warhead" which turns out to be a bobblehead likeness of the despotic homo, also available in the Pyongyang Toys'R'Us...Fearless publisher Truckman has stated that if Kim wishes to refute the findings of his analyst, he'll be happy to meet with him at any shooting range in Texas as long as Kim stands downwind...
Shown below is one of the bobblehead "warheads" required to be purchased and displayed in every North Korean household on penalty of death...
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