Making his victory speech from London's fashionable Queen's Row Bath House & Poofter Emporium, Poofter Minister (PM) Cameron celebrated his hard-fought erection which was thought by some to be "unattainable"...Always the consummate politician, Cameron promised in his campaign he could achieve erection in the company of voting poofters as well as the lesbian constituency...
Since Cameron is thought to be a political ally of US President Obama, the President dispatched UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty to aid in the erection process...In Lefty's statement before his overseas flight, he said, "This Cameron guy is no homo, but I know a thing or two about erections in bath houses"...
At the appointed time, Cameron entered the poofter-filled steamroom behind his bulletproof towel, and drawing a deep breath began the manual of arms...Ambassador Lefty then unveiled the secret teleprompter which he had preloaded with lesbian porn, following which Cameron's interest and libido began to rise, obvious even from behind his towel...
After the unisex referee, RHM, certified it a fair erection, Cameron's opponents immediately called for a re-measurement in protest of the unconventional assistance of the video...However, Cameron had anticipated this by securing the services of newly appointed Poofter Solicitor Leftchester, recently returned from his successful defense at an American military court martial...
Leftchester's standing as a barrister gained new prestige as he referred to the recently discovered first draft of Charlemagne's landmark Magna Carta containing the right to depict lesbian porn on royal tapestries...Leftchester argued "original intent" even though the final version was altered due to a spilled mug of ale on the document by a court towel boy, which made that paragraph unreadable...
The defeated opponents then conceded the erection to Cameron...Shown below is the PM after a disappointing practice session before the arrival of Ambassador Lefty and his teleprompter...
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