Off-duty security officer Dumpy Bunny, a midget lesbian, faces suspension following charges brought during a scuffle with a patron outside a popular Hobby Airport area bath house...The incident began when the belligerent officer ended her shift by inspecting for new peepholes to the nude lesbian yoga classroom from the towel boys' locker room, and after clocking out, observed another off-duty employee, towel boy Lefty, trying to gain entrance to the lesbian nudist sun deck disguised as a woman...
Without clocking back in or pinning her badge on, she confronted Lefty and challenged his gender in order to deny him access to the lesbian-only area...She later said her trained police officer's eye told her immediately that Lefty had stuffed his brassiere with the potatoes he usually carries in his underwear to enhance his manhood...
Ordering Lefty to halt in her squeaky, annoying voice, she then clamped her jaws around his male member, causing him to fall to the ground in pain...She said her intention was to subdue him by biting him on the kneecap since her hands were already full with the sacks of confiscated lesbian "entertainment devices" she was planning to turn in as evidence...
In his statement, Lefty claimed he didn't recognize her due to his impaired vision caused by fumes from the non-hypoallergenic eye make-up he was wearing, and when he turned to comply with her order, his four-inch heels broke...Ms. Bunny alleged that his fall threw her aim off causing his groin injury...
Emergency medical technicians called to the scene from Dr. Tchytz's nearby sex reassignment clinic removed Ms. Bunny's partial dental plate from Lefty's injury area, and turned it over to Hobby Airport Poofter Police as evidence...After identifying herself as a lesbian, the EMT's treated Ms. Bunny for testicle exposure by having her eat a sack of Taco Bell catfish tacos to get the taste out of her mouth...
Until all evidence and bribes have been collected and processed, both employees have been suspended by their bath house employer...Pictured below from police photographs, Lefty had no problem identifying Ms. Bunny on the far right in the standard police lineup...
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