Dr. Lefty of the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory has filed his briefs concerning the recent secretive Chinese probe of an orbiting moon...As Dr. Lefty explains, "It is well known that bath house technology differs greatly between western and Asian cultures, and voluntary exchange of information is almost non-existent"...
He went on to say that the recently discovered moons found orbiting Chinese bath houses within the jurisdiction of the Beijing People's Poofter Collective were definitely not spy satellites sent by the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...He stated that the "moons" were of unknown origin, and had nothing to do with western attempts to gather information on Chinese poofter tech...
However the Chinese Minister of Laundry, Hu Flung Dung, whose purview includes all Chinese bath house and poofter operations, has a suspicious nature and decided further investigation was necessary...It was decided the best man for this clandestine mission would be a towel boy named Lef Ti, who has more experience probing moons than anyone in China...
Upon his return, Lef Ti reported that the moons had a soft exterior, and opened immediately to receive his probe, although a noxious vapor was emitted which may have been a defense mechanism...Lef Ti stated that his results were inconclusive, and he requested an extended mission to probe deeper into the moons' interiors...
However Minister Dung remains cautious, and suspects that the mysterious moons may have actually gathered knowledge from Lef Ti's probe while leaving a false trail of intel for him...He said that any further missions by Lef Ti will include a protective shield around his probe to prevent unwanted microscopic invasions...
Meanwhile, Dr. Lefty continues to deny any western involvement in the mysterious orbiting bodies, and says his main concern these days is studying nearby advances in lesbian technology, particularly extending battery life in hand-held and strap-on "entertainment devices"...Shown below is his latest prototype of a dual-purpose device for use by so-called "lipstick lesbians"...
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