Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Voyeurism could be the reason behind Massive Starfish Die-offs...

http://newsmaine.net/21437-virus-could-be-reason-behind-massive-starfish-die-offs

In a new study, funded in part by the Starkist Tuna Co., Dr. Lefty of the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory, reports finding a correlation between watching lesbian activities and early death among starfish...Dr. Lefty reached his conclusions while finishing the tuna and horseradish sandwich his mom packed in his lunch and observing the nude lesbian pilates class through an aquarium placed in the window of the lesbian gymnasium...

While wishing the starfish clinging to the side of the tank would go away and allow him to see better, he noticed they began to fall off the glass to the bottom of the tank, where attentive blowfish attempted to revive them...Discounting the possibility that his own horseradish breath could have caused the phenomenon, he realized that observing the lesbians, as the starfish were doing, sometimes causes light-headedness in himself, even when not drinking Hamm's beer...

He further observed that the blowfish were sometimes successful in their rescue efforts, just as he is sometimes revived after falling asleep in the locker room...Unfortunately his investigation was interrupted when pilates instructor, Mazola McLeglock, saw him through the fishbowl and reported his presence to midget lesbian security guard, Deputy Dumpy Bunny, who encouraged him to break off surveillance at the end of her PR-24 baton...

Shown below, lesbian mermaids agree to clean the aquarium walls in order to give Dr. Lefty a clearer view in his studies...


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