Lame duck US President Obama, in an effort to appease the gay/lesbian community over this week's errors in international poofter relations, and to ensure his place in history, has named the first lesbian US Poofmaster General...Outgoing Poofmaster Leroi LeBoi announced his retirement to open a string of high-end gay bars named "Nancybois" with celebrity co-partners Tom Cruise and John Travolta...
The President said in his press statement that replacing LeBoi was not easy, but he places his confidence in longtime government employee, Deputy Dumpy Bunny, a midget lesbian who has worked at all levels of government, usually until her superiors can find a way to get rid of her...Obama said that Ms. Bunny will bring a new attitude to the job, as well as a new altitude since the top of her head is zipper-level for most of her co-poofters...
In introducing Ms. Bunny, the President apologized for resting his Hamm's beer can on top of her head, and said he was momentarily confused by her new flattop hairdo which caused him to mistake her for a beverage table...In her shrill, annoying voice, Ms. Bunny accepted the apology, and said she intends to bring a new level of service to the position of Poofmaster General since she is already at eye level with the center of attraction in most poofter relations...
UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty applauded the President's choice in his usual diplomatic manner, "I do all the work pulling this lame duck's pecker out of the frying pan, and he gives this cherry of a job to this lesbo?...Something's going on under the table for sure"...
Pictured below is the new Poofmaster General delivering her acceptance speech in her squeaky, irritating voice from behind the presidential podium...
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