Stunning new evidence has been presented in the relentless quest for new ways to get past the natural defense barriers put up by lesbians upon the approach of lust-minded towel boys and other lower life forms...Dr. Lefty of the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory has concluded his latest observation of the mating/dating rituals of rugmunchers in their natural habitat of the all-female bath house...
Using a cleverly concealed periscope, newly constructed at great expense by Dr. Lefty's eighth grade nephew and science student Stiffy in exchange for a peek at the video notes accumulated in Dr. Lefty's research, he was able to draw new conclusions after his study...It was previously thought that lesbians had a method for diverting each other's attention in the presence of a particularly attractive newcomer to the covey, and this newest research confirms it...
From behind the cover of a potted cannabis plant in the hydroponic garden area of a popular Braniff Street lesbian spa, Dr. Lefty watched as a perfectly formed new arrival joined the nude yoga class of instructor Mazola McLeglock, and was immediately swarmed by the many nude, but seriously overweight attendees who vied for her attention...Previously Dr. Lefty had noticed the lesbians' curious ritual of placing their own tongues in the ears of their competitors, and with the aid of his powerful new periscope, he determined the reason...
Each lesbian was attempting to "jam the sonar" of their rivals by burying a wad of Dubble Bubble gum in the ears of the others...Dr. Lefty's observations were halted at this point as he attempted to adjust the prototype periscope's mirrors (obtained by Stiffy from his mom's makeup kit), when he felt a blinding pain and lost consciousness...
When Dr. Lefty regained his composure, he found himself inexplicably nude, handcuffed to a Montrose area fireplug with the word "pervert" written in lipstick on his forehead...The investigation into the attack is ongoing by the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium's chief of security, Big "Tiny" Balsac, who reports the only new evidence is a broken Louisville slugger found in the locker of newly hired perimeter guard, midget lesbian Deputy Dumpy Bunny of the Hobby Airport Poofter Police...
Shown below is one of Stiffy's first attempts at periscope construction installed in his sister's bathroom, said to be part of a science project for school...
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