A man believed to be a vacationing towel boy returning to his place of employment in South Houston, Texas has been freed from his entrapment in a hollow wall between a liquor store and a 24-hour lesbian massage parlor in Colorado...The man, who identified himself only as "Lefty," said he would have called for help earlier, but was actually eating better than at home, although the wall's interior wasn't quite as roomy as his shipping container home...
Questioned by police, he stated he had been living off half-eaten bags of Cheetos found in the wall, and breathing through holes which had mysteriously been drilled through the wall from the liquor store cashier's cubicle to the lesbian locker room...Police believe that part of his story is true since rescue workers had difficulty lifting him out of the wall due to an apparent weight gain after becoming trapped...
Still unclear is Lefty's reason for being in the wall as no sign of forced entry was found, and he may have fallen asleep shortly before the liquor store closed while shopping in the bargain aisle close to the Hamm's beer display...Police theorize he may have become disoriented after awakening in the dark, and attempted to climb over the wall towards the sounds of giggling and squealing coming from the massage parlor...
Also unclear is why Lefty's travel itinerary included a detour through Colorado when he was vacationing in Florida and returning home to the Hobby Airport area in Texas...Lefty's explanation was that a fugitive who looks just like him and has the same name apparently has active warrants in several states, so Lefty finds it advantageous to plan his trips to avoid passing through those states...
A police spokesman said that if Lefty's story checks out, he will be released on his own recognizance, much to the relief of the other inmates who are unaccustomed to his unusual smell which is said to be reminiscent of a greasy Taco Bell sack that had been repurposed as a barf bag...Shown below is a police photo of Lefty moments before his rescue from the wall...
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