Fire Safety Officer Lefty of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium has this timely pre-holiday advice for all celebrants, "This is the time of year when we decorate our pants poles in gay fashion for the season's festivities...But no one wants a holiday ruined due to faulty or unsafe decorations"...
Lefty states that although most Hobby Airport area residents are AC as well as DC, it's important to know which is which before plugging in the equipment...An accidental connection to the wrong socket could result in a fiery uproar with devastating consequences...
Lefty further advises all holiday participants to invest in the latest safety gadget, a pants fire detector...He says this simple device can detect any potential burn before it gets out of hand...He says in his case, his hand is so calloused he can no longer sense the heat caused from overspeed activities, thus making the device invaluable in the prevention of painful blisters...
An added benefit is the detection of undesired eruptions due to the diet most poofters enjoy...Lefty explains, "Most of these fat homos don't know when to say 'no thanks' to a fourth helping of chili burritos at lunch, and they pay for it when they resume their activities afterwards"...
This added feature can even lower insurance premiums against not only trouser fires, but expensive EPA air quality violations...Senior men's room attendant RHM informs us that the device is available in all popular colors at his male lingerie boutique...
Lefty also tells us that work is underway to eliminate false readings caused by really hot lesbians...Pictured below is the type of holiday accident Lefty hopes to prevent with the new technology...
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are welcome...Malicious messages and spam attempts will be removed...Keep it clean and let's have fun...