Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Shopping Black Friday 'deals'? You can do better...

http://www.cnbc.com/id/102213612?trknav=homestack:topnews:8

Consumer poofter advocate Lefty warns, "Watch out where you spend your holiday money, as some deals are no deals at all"...Lefty refers to the many "sales" and "specials" being offered in the Hobby Airport bath house district designed to lure in cash-flush poofters after stuffing themselves with habanero and turkey burritos...

Lefty said that some of the usual CraigsList ads offering two-for-one deals at the local massage parlors actually mean that two fat homos will split the proceeds of your wallet after leaving you with one large lump on your head...According to Lefty, "Don't ask how I know, but one of the lesbian peep shows in this area is just a hole drilled in the ladies toilet wall behind Spec's Liquor Store, and the quarters you feed into the slot go into some smelly old dude's pocket who's trying to pay his past due beer account"...

Lefty advised that instead horny homos should visit one of the established bath houses such as the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium, where businessmen like RHM can outfit you in the latest men's lingerie at 50% off his regular prices which were merely doubled for the holiday shopping season...He also said the towel boys will take extra care not to damage your belongings when they pilfer your locker if you will leave some folding money in their tip jars instead of the usual expired Kroger coupons...

Lefty also reminded clients that the locations of some cleverly concealed peepholes in the poofter shower room are available for a small donation for those athletic fans who wish to observe Mazola McLeglock's nude lesbian yoga classes on the other side of the wall...Sales of DVD's of the events will resume as soon as his borrowed video camera is released from evidence on some false accusations of voyeurism-for-profit by Houston's lesbian mayor, Annise Parker...

Shown below is the last image captured by the camera before it was taken into custody in the City Council cloakroom along with its owner, an elderly, eccentric former airline owner, just before his hearing before the City Council concerning a soil permeation bill he received from the city...


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