In an unsettling moment for UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty, the diplomat was received in the official Kremlin bath house by a smiling President Putin who was wearing a pair of "Hello Kitty" pajamas instead of the customary towel...The meeting, brokered by the newly formed Russian Ministry of Laundry,went well after a shaky start due to Putin's newness to the poofter world...
Like the professional diplomat he is, Ambassador Lefty quickly changed to a formal thong in an attempt to relieve Putin's embarrassment...In a show of good faith, his thong still carried the laundry tag from the Molotov Memorial Steam'n'Kleen where they still sprinkle kerosene from glass bottles, just like the commissar did in his day...
Putin's newly appointed Commissar of Laundry, Ivan Yakinov, was on hand taking notes as Lefty spoke of his worldwide experience in serving the needs of poofters...The ambassador was particularly concerned with the quality of the towel service in the Moscow bath houses, and was told that all the towel boys had been recently purged with the exception of one known only as Leftovsky...
Leftovsky claims to have been descended from Rasputin, the mystic towel bearer and keeper of the tip jar for Czar Nicholas the Poofter...Leftovsky avoided the purge because he somehow gained the favor of Putin's lesbian wife who also wears the same size lingerie...
Ambassador Lefty advised Commissar Yakinov to appoint a men's room attendant who can keep a supply of good cigars, and also keep the beer cooler at the proper temperature...He also advised switching to a more palatable beer such as Hamm's, and avoiding the local brands brewed from potato peels, which he said were only a few steps up from Coors...
Shown below, Ambassador Lefty amused the brewery workers with different ways to peel potatoes, while instructing President Putin and his entourage on other ways to pad his portfolio with potatoes...
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