On the heels of his successful hot tub pow-wow with Cuba's poofter dictator, Raúl Castro, President Obama has accepted an invitation to attend a meeting of Caribbean leaders which can only be described as a "power jerk"...Unaccustomed to formal bath house procedures on an international scale, Obama has called on the expertise of UN Ambassador for Poofter Relations Lefty to guide him through the protocol...
Lefty has advised the President to step carefully through the meeting, and do nothing to offend the minor participants less equipped to deal from a power stance...Lefty then told Mr. Obama of the delicate line he will be expected to follow in the all-important "Hómo se Nachos" conference, in which the leaders gather in a circle to display their prowess...
Lefty advised the President to avoid showing his full strength unless an obvious challenge arose from another member, and even in this case only produce enough power to show the contender that you can equal his ability...He reminded Obama of former Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega, who could still be dictator had he not overshot the target and contaminated the queso bowl of his opposite number at a Central American "power circle"...
Obama, eager not to embarrass himself or the other conferees, said he would control his libido by imagining Dick Cheney in an evening gown and high heels if he felt the pressure rising...Ambassador Lefty expressed his regrets at not being able to attend himself, due to the constraints of his ankle monitor, but assured the President that he was "an email away" if any questions arose...
Shown below, one of the expected attendees, the bearded lesbian dictator of the island nation of Barmaidia, proudly shows off her gold tip jar presented by North Korea's Kim Jong-un...
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