After three days trapped in the rubble of the collapse of an experimental housing project in the Hobby Airport Bath House District, a lone occupant has been pulled from the debris to tell his tale of survival...Tentatively identified only as "Lefty," the man was first thought by rescuers to be the victim of a new type of chemical terror device until his brother arrived and explained, "No, he always smells like that"...
Events leading up to the nightmarish scene began after an elderly, eccentric Hobby Airport resident was ordered to "get rid" of what he called his priceless collection of Maersk shipping containers...The retired recluse, who is thought to have had CIA connections in the 1960's, then mysteriously obtained approval to convert the containers into a prison halfway house, and a low-rent housing project...
The geriatric recluse, who is said to be a veteran of both world wars and the Vietnam conflict, wanted to prove to scoffers that he "still had it" as an engineer, and did most of the conversion himself, arranging the tall pile of containers with the aid of a pink skidloader...After completing the structure he rented out the lower level as housing to recently released parolees and some other residents of the bath house district, while using the upper units to store surplus antique pianos and a collection of spare parts for a number of Ford vehicles located on the grounds...
At the time of the inevitable collapse, the only occupants were Gristmill Mikey, a halfway house resident, and the local towel boy, Lefty...Mikey had been unable to sleep since being assigned to the unfamiliar quarters, and had added steel bars and reinforced concrete to create a cell-like structure where he felt "more at home"...
Those additions left his unit the only one still structurally sound at the time of the collapse, and he was unhurt...The only things in Lefty's unit were several bags of discarded beer cans which he sells to scrap dealers, plus his Dewalt drill and a powerful Tasco telescope, both of which he is thought to use in his observations of the lesbian culture in a nearby bath house...
He also had an inexplicable number of Motel 6 ashtrays, which may lead Hobby Airport Poofter Police to the solving of several motel burglaries...Authorities believe that Lefty's miraculous survival was due to some of the Coors cans in the bags containing a watery substance which Lefty was forced to drink during his ordeal...
Medical technicians on the scene treated him for Coors exposure, and started an IV of Hamm's beer, an almost undrinkable beverage, but known to provide sustenance to those in the bath house trade...Lefty is expected to recover, although his employer said he would be docked for the hours he missed at his bath house job...
Shown below is an earlier photo of the housing project/halfway house after the aged owner finished the construction, and paid off visiting building inspector, FredK...The senior citizen explained that the structure may have looked slightly off-kilter due to a mysterious optical illusion which affected everyone who observed it...
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