In a move certain to have international business and political repercussions, the newly appointed Commissar of Poofter Collectives, Leftovsky, has announced the building of a new chain of Russian bath houses to be named "Nastasia Bois"...Leftovsky, who claims lineage from the "mad monk" Rasputin who was said to be the mystic towel bearer and keeper of the tip jar for Czar Nicholas the Poofter, is thought by some to be behind the recent public disappearance of Vladimir Putin, followed by his reappearance as an enthusiastic supporter of the gay lifestyle...
Known only by his single name, Leftovsky has made a giant leap in the Russian poofter power circle from lowly towel boy to personal envoy and laundry boy for Putin, and now to his peak of power as Commissar of Poofter Collectives...Some vague connection is thought to be held between Leftovsky and mysterious international businessman and power broker Sergei Boris Analtoy, or simply SBA, said to be the manipulator of a vast network of poofter wealth...
Each franchised Nastasia Bois will be conveniently located adjacent to a fast food restaurant known to sell a borscht-based variant of the popular Taco Bell menu item, green chili burritos, a long time poofter favorite...Attorneys for the similarly named chain of gay bars called "Nancybois," owned in part by celebrities Tom Cruise and John Travolta, have been silent concerning the possible name infringement, and may be waiting for support from the Obama Justice Department...
Meanwhile probes launched in search of reliable information about powerbroker SBA have met with crusty impenetrable walls of defense as little is publicly known of the mysterious entrepreneur...The few leads available seem to point to an obscure connection in the Hobby Airport area, but further trails vanish as those who should know simply won't talk...
The only solid evidence linked to SBA is a seeming fondness for antique player pianos and piano rolls sold through an enigmatic eBay site...SBA is thought to have perfected a way to encode the vast library of blackmail material collected in his lifetime onto the player piano rolls, and is holding up the threat of opening his collection to the public as a way of maintaining his multi-national power base...
Shown below, an anonymous source provided this photo, thought to be the secretive Sergei Boris Analtoy composing an extortion letter in his command center...The cryptic note accompanying the photo when delivered to Truckman Publishing, and whose meaning is yet to be decoded, said, "Please help me sell this crap before Daddy buys more junk!"...
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