Speaking from his office on the third barstool of Tony's Topless Paradise in the Hobby Airport Bath House District, newly arrived immigrant, Yugo Leftanescu, says he is one immigrant who is creating jobs, not stealing them...Having established his own oddsmaking and off-track betting business soon after arrival, Yugo is already advertising for help in his collections department...
Thanks to the unlucky guesses of some of the local towel boys, his accounts receivable ledger has been growing faster than his ability to locate some of his more senior accounts...Yugo puts more value in brawn than brains in recruiting a collector, saying, "If he wears a size 52 t-shirt and a number 3 hat, that's the man I want"...
"Can't count past ten with your shoes on?...No problem, just bring me everything in the client's pockets," instructed Yugo to his newest hire, Big "Tiny" Balsac, an immigrant from Armenia himself, better known as Head Doorman at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium...Asked about his East European job experiences, Yugo said he was a shoe salesman in the old country, "Give me a couple of buckets of wet cement, and I can fit anybody with shoes in minutes, no complaints ever"...
Leftanescu emphasized that Balsac's hiring was probably a temporary one, although he could expect more assignments if his work proved to meet his high standards...He explained that he was expecting the arrival from Europe of his half-Italian cousin, Carmine "The Hat" Caponescu, who left the old country hurriedly just ahead of a deportation order...
Leftanescu added that his cousin was well versed in techniques for debt collection, although his methods were sometimes frowned upon by his Sicilian Mafia bosses as "too brutal"...They considered it bad for repeat business when clients disappeared near a local Alpo cannery after paying their debts in full...
Leftanescu emphasized that Balsac's hiring was probably a temporary one, although he could expect more assignments if his work proved to meet his high standards...He explained that he was expecting the arrival from Europe of his half-Italian cousin, Carmine "The Hat" Caponescu, who left the old country hurriedly just ahead of a deportation order...
Leftanescu added that his cousin was well versed in techniques for debt collection, although his methods were sometimes frowned upon by his Sicilian Mafia bosses as "too brutal"...They considered it bad for repeat business when clients disappeared near a local Alpo cannery after paying their debts in full...
Sending Balsac on his way with a list of clients, Yugo announced he would be in the men's room if he got any calls...Noticing the white wedding dress Yugo was wearing, visiting building inspector FredK, who is on loan from Apache Junction to check code compliance on adult-oriented businesses snickered, "Yeah I'll bet"...
Fred immediately found himself being dragged toward the men's room in the hairy fist of Yugo who said, "I accept your bet"...Returning shortly, Fred was grateful he hadn't spent the lunch money his wife had given him, and was able to pay his gambling debt to Yugo without being added to "the list"...
Towel boy Lefty, who had already fallen prey to this same bet, chose this moment to slip out the side door of the darkened bar, knowing he was probably on the list of clients being sought by Balsac...Shown below are the boots worn for a fishing trip by one of Yugo's last clients as a shoe salesman...
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