Honorable Master Lef Ti of the PF Chang Poofter & Laundry Academy has managed to turn the sporting world upside down with his revelation that he can engineer athletes by growing them from poofter embryos...Gathering stem cells taken from a centrally located "stem" on selected bath house clients in the Beijing People's Poofter Collective, Lef Ti has, over a period of time, grown cultures suitable for the popular Asian bath house sport of nude sumo oil wrestling...
Using a growth accelerator developed in his own laboratory/living quarters, Lef Ti grew one specimen from a single cell grown in a discarded Motel 6 ashtray into the 650 pound behemoth called Hef Ti, who is partnered with the Japanese midget oil wrestler Dinki Winki, as the nude sumo tag team, Mister Blister...Accomplishing this in less than a year, Lef Ti said he enlisted the help of a vacationing lesbian laundry girl from Hong Kong, by injecting the cell into her using his own probe...
The growth accelerator caused the birth of Hef Ti to occur before the laundress ended her vacation, whereupon he was left in a laundry basket together with Lef Ti's laundry and a note from her attorney on Lef Ti's doorstep...The Honorable Master admitted he was unprepared for the foundling's insatiable appetite, especially for the contraband Hamm's beer he had hoarded away...
However, Lef Ti was fortunate enough to find several clandestine games of chance, and after substituting his own dice, was able to win adequately to buy enough Hamm's on the black market until Hef Ti was of adult size, a process that took about six months...Meanwhile Hef Ti was given intense instruction in the martial arts by allowing him to watch the Bruce Lee channel on Beijing cable TV while Lef Ti plied his trade as a towel boy in the poofter collective...
At the age of six months, Hef Ti could pass as a young man, and he gained employment as a hot tub lifeguard (as shown in the photo below) until Lef Ti paired him with Dinki Winki for their first tag team match...Afterwards, the sport of nude sumo oil wrestling was set on its ear, as were all their opponents by using their trademark step-over belly roll to subdue their adversaries...
At this writing, it is unclear whether Lef Ti will remain as their manager, or be sent back to the Hanzhob People's Poofter Collective for more re-education because he failed to get prior approval from the director of China's Ministry of Laundry, Hu Flung Dung, before beginning his experiments...However, the profits from booking their matches and collecting the side bets is said to be financing Director Dung's lavish lifestyle...
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments are welcome...Malicious messages and spam attempts will be removed...Keep it clean and let's have fun...