In an effort to improve traffic flow, the Hobby Airport Bath House District has revised its street humping policy to make better use of the picnic tables provided in front of local fast food outlets such as Taco Bell...BHD Director Dewey Cheatham explained, "In the past, when an individual, couple or group felt the urge to hump, they just did it right there in the street, which led to some traffic slow-downs due to the gawkers and rubberneckers"...
But after noting the number of outdoor picnic tables installed outside Taco Bell restaurants to accommodate the diners who wished to avoid the noxious emissions produced by consumption of their products, Cheatham thought it might be helpful to make better use of them...The BHD commissioned a study of the project with Dr. Lefty of the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory, and after a 50% kickback into Cheatham's own re-election fund, decided the idea had merit...
A plan was drawn up wherein the picnic tables would be annexed into the Extra Territorial Jurisdiction of the BHD, then made available for "entertainment purposes" by the deposit of a party fee into the BHD's slush fund...The expected complaints from the management staffs of the fast-food outlets was smoothed over by allowing them to charge admission to voyeur diners during the noon rush hour...
The new regulations were carefully crafted to ensure strict adherence to Obama administration guidelines to prevent discrimination regardless of poofter preference...Cheatham says he expects no problems that can't be overcome by lining the appropriate pockets with a well placed bribe...
Shown below, an afternoon lesbian street hump enthusiast is almost ready to clear a table for the Wednesday evening dinner crowd on two-for-one chimichanga night...
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