Iran's Minister of Steamrooms, the Ayatollah Leph te Rashitch, is blaming Western decadence and American influence for the diminishing numbers of bath houses available for use by Iranian poofters...Leph te fondly recalls the days when he could choose from throngs of young men eager to learn the time-honored trade of towel boy, now saying, "The only new students want to learn locker pilferage and hiding their own tip jars"...
Leph te is said to have come up through the ranks as an apprentice towel boy, and learning the secrets of men's room attendancy at the feet of Grand Caliph RHM before assuming his present position of power in a coup which toppled his mentor, the Grand Caliph...Leveling charges of "infidel" at his former master for advocating new gay colors in turbans and towels, Ayatollah Leph te caused the disgraced RHM to be banished to the laundry room of the Tehran Poofter Palace as a towel folder...
It is thought that Leph te has dismissed the idea of any possible return of RHM to a position of influence, and has concentrated on growing his power base through an alliance with the radical Islamic State United Kingdom (ISUK)...Meanwhile rumors continue to surface of a connection between RHM's progressive ideas and a Hindu goat-whisperer named Rama Lambda Ernest...
The decline in the number of poofter bath houses in Iran may signal a rise in a hybrid religion combining the beliefs of Grand Caliph RHM and the reclusive Rama Lambda...Traditional Iranian bath house clients are known to be dissatisfied with the level of service in what was once the opulent lifestyle of Tehran homos, and many are calling for a change in leadership and direction...
Religious analysts say the possible hybrid religion has yet to take its final form or name as practicing poofters and traditional goat-worshipers try to work out the details of the alliance...Calls to Rama Lambda Ernest's Gonzales County ranch and temple have not been returned, and neither confirmation nor denial has been offered of the planned merger...
Sources close to the goat-whisperer say that although Ernest is a man of peace and tranquility, he does demand obedience from his followers and maintains a level of dominance in their beliefs...Shown below in one of the few known photographs of him, the Rama Lambda cautions silence to two of his young charges about their secret nocturnal rituals...
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