Professor Lefty of the esteemed Institute for Advanced Lesbian Studies recently announced findings from his latest excursion to further the knowledge of poofter sciences...He has long suspected the existence of an unknown species hidden in the undergrowth surrounding modern bath houses, and now offers proof of his theories...
After being sentenced to community service on an unrelated peeping tom matter, the professor was assigned to a landscaping crew working at the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium when he heard a rustling in the bushes under the lesbian locker room windows...Remembering the cause of his recent courtroom appearance, he began poking the brush with his rake handle rather than get any closer...
Immediately several hairy chested dwarfs dressed in evening gowns and high heels emerged angry at being disturbed at their activities...After assuring the bantam voyeurs that he meant them no harm, Professor Lefty learned they were midget acrobats on their day off from a traveling circus...
They said they enjoyed dressing as women on their off days, and were trying to learn some makeup techniques from the lipstick lesbians inside the bath house by spying on them in their locker room...Unfortunately the windows were not at their eye level, and they were forced to take turns standing on each other's shoulders to observe...
Professor Lefty was about to loan them his Dewalt cordless drill he carries for making emergency peepholes, when midget lesbian security guard Dumpy Bunny arrived and announced in her screechy, annoying voice that all were under arrest...After producing his institute credentials, Professor Lefty was not detained, but his cordless drill was taken into custody...
Three of the suspects, tentatively identified as Stumpy, Lumpy and Humpy were thought to be relatives of Dumpy, and were released on their own recognizance...The remaining suspect, Drippy, is shown below after being fingered in a line-up of the usual suspects...
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