With both the East Coast and the West Coast sharing honors for having the states with the highest poofter taxes in America, some analysts have wondered how a large Gulf Coast state such as Texas has managed to survive with no state tax on homo activity...According to Hobby Airport Bath House District Director, Dewey Cheatham, the answer is simple...
"State taxes are not needed in Texas because our State Constitution specifies that individual Bath House Districts (BHD's) will be responsible for local services paid for through local taxation," stated Director Cheatham...He pointed to his own district where every poofter activity carries its own tax, fee, penalty and/or bribe...
As an example, he indicated the towel distribution system in local bath houses where an ad valorem tax is levied each time a towel boy hands a fresh one to a client based on the towel's degree of cleanliness and the cuteness of the towel boy...The towel boys themselves collect their own form of tax for services rendered such as bending over to pick up a client's dropped towel or Dove soap...
Bar service is taxed separately on an ascending scale based on orders from Hamm's beer all the way up to Napoleon brandy served in snifters...Customers ordering Coors generally qualify for public assistance, and may receive an earned credit against any court-ordered breathalyzer tests...
Asked whether the locally-based taxation methods have proven successful, Director Cheatham replied, "Oh yes, my own standard of living is at an all time high due to weekly rake-offs and kickbacks from collections, while complaints have dropped to near zero since protests and criticisms must be filed with the Civil Grievance Division"...He further explained that since the division is now staffed by midget lesbian Dumpy Bunny, complainants don't feel that charges are worth filing if they are forced to listen to her screechy, annoying voice...
In the short video clip below, Cheatham is shown reacting to Ms. Bunny's hiring interview just before okaying her employment on the condition that she never speak to him or come near him again...
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