In a press release from the office of Dr. Tchytz, Lefty wants his fan base to know he is feeling better and recovering from the mild concussion suffered from the latest rejection of his advances from lesbian powder room attendant, Latrina...After scoring two tickets for the afternoon batting practice at the nudist nun softball camp while cleaning out one of the lockers in the poofter hot tub lounge, Lefty said he was merely wanting to share his good fortune with his co-worker, Latrina...
Latrina stated later that she intended no harm to Lefty, but he accidentally timed his approach with her demonstration of her batting stance, and regrettably walked into the forestroke from her 42 ounce Louisville Slugger...She further said she had been assigned batting coach duty as her penance following confession of her sins to Mother Superior Slinky that same morning...
She regrets the pain caused to Lefty almost as much as the time it will take to get the Brylcreem stain off the Babe Ruth signature on her antique bat...Lefty declined her offer of the loan of her Miami Marlins baseball cap to hide the new, very visible mark on his head...
While waiting for his head to clear (to which possibility Dr.Tchytz declined comment), Lefty commissioned tattoo artist Sidecar Sophie for the inkwork pictured below to cover up the backward "Louisville Slugger" brand now permanently implanted on his head...Sidecar Sophie pronounced it some of her best work since there have been no complaints of misspelling...
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