Professor Lefty of the prestigious Institute for Advanced Lesbian Studies has announced the finding of an eons-old fossil that may be the prehistoric ancestor of a creature that plagues bath house users even today...The professor's research assistant, RHM, discovered the relic while sifting through the remains of what is believed to be a primitive poofter shower room found under the decaying layers of a Braniff Street landfill...
RHM immediately noticed something different among the petrified Dove soap bars and decayed towel remnants...On closer examination, it resembled a lobster with the exception of it having legs on both sides, similar to the two-sided crab which infests modern bath houses...
Two-sided crabs are especially bothersome as they can continue to run up a victim's leg in search of a snack even when flipped over...It is now believed that the modern pest evolved over the millennia from the dominant lobster-like creature interbreeding with the more docile crabs...
Professor Lefty also offers the theory that evidence of sharpened clam shells found among the shower room debris indicates that the infestation of the ancient "crab-lobsters" may have hastened the invention of the razor by an early human species known as Gillette Man...The professor added that this is not to be confused with the first use of a razor in lesbian porn "flickers" of the silent movie era by an actress called Lady Schick...
Shown below, Lady Schick is pictured in a publicity release from Mack Sennett's Peeping Tom Productions (now defunct)...Photo courtesy of the SBA collection...
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