Reports coming out of Washington today indicate that President Obama abruptly cancelled a scheduled meeting with the North American Poofter Alliance (NAPA) leader, to instead entertain Russia's latest bath house envoy, known only by the single name, Leftovsky...Showing his Russian heritage, Leftovsky immediately began complaining about the temperature of the oval hot tub in the Executive Office, and even snubbed the premium Russian vodka he was offered saying he wanted to sample a beverage he had heard of called Hamm's beer...
Acquiescing to his demands, President Obama sent a Secret Service agent out for a sixer of Hamm's and some fresh towels while attempting to sweet talk Leftovsky...Leftovsky began boasting that the hot tub was a Russian invention dating back to the time when the legendary Nanookie of the North, a fierce, red-haired midget lesbian, ruled the frozen wastelands of Siberia served by her slave towel boy Yellocok, who is always pictured on her left...
Leftovsky then became enraged when the President tried to steer the conversation towards Putin's ambitions in the Ukraine...Without further explanation, the Russian stalked out of the meeting naked handing his wet towel to Michelle Obama whom he mistook for a lesbian serving wench...
Leftovsky was later found in the newly-named Clinton Bedroom smoking one of the El Producto cigars he found in a dresser drawer under a discarded blue dress...The cigar seemed to have a calming effect on him, and it was agreed to restart the meeting the following day after his massage by two of the President's lesbian interns...
Seen below are the hand-rolled Russian "Molotov" cigars Leftovsky brought to Obama as a gift from Putin...
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