In most of the world's poofter bath houses, life goes on with gay abandon, and with much encouragement for individual fashion statements...However, in the cloistered halls of the dignified, upper-crust bath houses of London's sedate Queens Row, deviations from the norm are looked down upon as garish and offensive...
Therefore, when the disgraced Rear Commodore "Leftie" Leftchester (Ret.) of the Royal Horse Marines reported for his shift as towel boy not only intoxicated, but dressed as an American frat boy, the repercussions were swift and severe...Leftchester was only permitted to supplement his retirement stipend with gratuities from bath house clients because of his former service to his Queens, but even that is now in jeopardy...
The Queens Row Bath House & Poofter Emporium requires its towel boys to be appropriately dressed in a freshly laundered and starched black thong when reporting for duty...They are permitted to display any symbols of military orders they have earned or any coats of arms on a knotted silk rope attached to the rear of the thong...
When Leftchester reported to the towel boys locker room in baggy jeans with his boxer shorts showing and drinking from a can of American beer, he was immediately detained and brought before Poofters Court for arraignment by the Sergeant at Arms...After detoxification, Leftchester told a lurid tale of being coaxed into a pub crawl by a visiting cousin from South Houston on vacation from his own job as a towel boy, and threw himself on the mercy of the court...
Acting prosecutor Sir Neville Clive Flamingwell, dressed for the occasion in a formal black towel complete with a Rob Roy sporran containing his snuff box, pointed out that the membership is so conservative they even bring their butlers to the communal shower room to pick up their dropped soap...However, Flamingwell's lesbian wife testified to Leftchester's years of service to the Queens and their wives, and recommended leniency...
At the conclusion of the hearing after all evidence and bribes had been offered, the tribunal granted probation, and fined Leftchester half of his tip jar proceeds for the following two weeks...Depicted below is one of Leftchester's mug shots prior to being debriefed and arraigned...
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