Looking to the future in an atmosphere of ever-increasing bath house temperatures, scientists with the Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory are developing a new food source to prevent starvation among poofters...A spokesman for the lab, Dr. Lefty, explains, "It may seem funny to think these fat homos could actually starve, but we believe the threat is real"...
Dr. Lefty explained that the trend in recent years has been toward higher steamroom temperatures for the comfort of the bath house clientele, and this has led to an unexpected problem...The higher heat has begun to expand the poorly engineered doors in some bath houses to the point where they become stuck closed...
When this happens, Dr. Lefty went on, panic ensues when a poofter tries to leave to visit the men's room and can't get out...Nervous clients tend to eat more, and we have found that their Taco Bell burritos sometimes deteriorate in the high heat before they can be eaten...
"When this happens," said Dr. Lefty, "Some panic-stricken poofters start eating their towels and Dove soap bars which are highly indigestible"...The permanent solution is to install more heat-resistant doors, but bath house engineers, such as the Hobby Airport area's Gristmill Mikey, must work within the budgetary constraints of cheap boards of directors who allocate most of their funding for conference room improvements...
Dr. Lefty said the short term remedy was to develop a more heat resistant bean burrito which can endure bath house warming without deteriorating...When asked whether the bean burritos themselves, the consumption of which can release clouds of methane gas, couldn't exacerbate the problem, Dr. Lefty stated, "All these porky homos care about is feeding their faces, and they can exacerbate themselves if they need to"...
Shown below is a Taco Bell employee preparing a snack for a visiting bath house client...
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