In a statement from the Vatican news office, the Pope has issued an apology to the board of regents of the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium, for remarks taken out of context, and misquoted by Father Lefty of the Temple of Our Lady of Diminished Virginity...While placing his order at the drive-thru window of the newly opened Taco Bell in Rome from his armored Popemobile, His Imminence remarked to his driver that it would be a sin not to get through traffic while his burrito was still warm to resume his hobby of watching "Crime Scene Investigation" reruns on Vatican TV...
The drive-thru clerk, who is also a first year Latin student at Rome's Gina Lollobrigida H.S., repeated the Pope's words, and by the time the quote had reached the Hobby Airport area, it had lost some of its meaning through garbled translation...Father Lefty, at his daily "blessing of the waters" ritual in the South Houston WalMart men's room where he does court-ordered community service by scrubbing off graffiti, mentioned he had heard the Pope thinks burrito trafficking in the Hobby Airport area is a sinful crime, and thinks all non-devout TV's (transvestites) should be excommunicated...
By the time he reported to his job at the bath house after services, the crossdressing parishioners were in an uproar...The Vatican has assured the militant homos of Braniff Street that the only penance required for their burrito consumption might be taking an additional Beano® with their "hail marys" and that reports of the formal defrocking of Father Lefty are premature if he will check his frock for skidmarks before turning it in at the laundry...
Shown below the visiting Monsignor RHM checks His Imminence' cassock for embarrassing skidmarks before boarding the Popemobile for his morning pilgrimage to McDonald's for an Egg McMuffin...
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