The Surgeon General once again warns the public about the risks involved in using the popular bath house currency known as "bit coins"...Thought to be originally developed by a South Houston towel boy named Lefty, it was originally used as a security device against pilferage by unscrupulous gay clients...
Towel boy Lefty noticed that clients would help themselves to change in the towel boys' tip jar to buy condoms and lube packets from the coin operated machines...They would then pay back the tip jar with buttons, slugs and expired Taco Bell coupons...
Lefty then began testing the contents for legal tender by biting each coin to verify it as coin of the realm...He then noticed that after his mouth had been on the coins, no one would touch them for fear of the unknown places Lefty's mouth had been...
The concept went on to become an accepted safeguard against tip jar pilferage in bath houses around the world, but the Surgeon General continues to warn against touching coins which have been in contact with Lefty's tongue until they have been sanitized by immersion in boiling Clorox bleach for ten minutes...
A visiting Sioux Indian known as Homo the Brave lamented, "Life was simpler when all we had to worry about was having our pockets picked in the locker room while frolicking in the hot tub"...
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