Friday, October 10, 2014

Bath house customers get hacked...

http://money.cnn.com/2014/10/10/news/companies/dairy-queen-malware/

Showing that even gay bath houses are not immune to internet hackers, the Hobby Airport Bath House & Poofter Emporium reports today that its membership records were hacked by an anonymous web hacker...Not all clients were victims in this attack, as it seems only lipstick lesbians who would rate an 8.5 or better on the Playboy Scale were vulnerable...

The bath house Chief of Security, Big "Tiny" Balsac, said in a press release that all such crimes are taken seriously by management, and they have retained the services of a specialist...Mr. Balsac then introduced midget lesbian Deputy Dumpy Bunny, formerly of Montgomery County Precinct 0 and now permanently assigned to the Hobby Airport Poofter Police...

Deputy Bunny stated in her annoying voice that no effort will be spared in her investigation, and she has already identified a "person of interest," a towel boy who has been observed spying on the lesbian shower rooms through a hidden peephole...The diminutive deputy said a much lower peephole has been installed so she can look from the other side and gather evidence from the poofter showers...

When the deputy was asked whether this will be an undercover assignment, she stripped off her uniform revealing that she only wore a strap-on "entertainment device" in order to have a place to conceal her badge...Asked where she intended to carry her weapon, Mr. Balsac was heard to mutter, "She is a weapon"...

Pressed for more details on what data was stolen from the victims, Mr. Balsac said the only info lost seemed to concern phone numbers and addresses, plus lists of lesbo porn sites visited by the lesbian clientele...The determined deputy vowed to bring the culprit to justice if she had to strip search every lipstick lesbo in South Houston...

A towel boy lurking nearby, known only as "Lefty," volunteered his time in that effort, but was declined by the switch-hitting deputy, saying in her squeaky voice, "I'll interview this one separately"...Lefty also could not immediately explain the data recorder found in his tip jar (pictured below)...

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