The battle against the dreaded Epoofa virus rages on as blame-shifting and finger pointing continue unabated...Hobby United Homos (HUH), the Hobby Airport area group formed to combat the malady has so far been stymied in its efforts to track down its source...
President Obama, in his quest to lure voters for his third term in office (which would forestall his first term in prison), has pledged his support to find a cure by appointing a "czar" to oversee the research...Dr. Tchytz of the Braniff Street Gender Reassignment Clinic & Bait Shop has been assigned this important duty...
Dr. Tchytz spoke at his press conference, "The public must be reassured that this debilitating disease cannot be transmitted through casual contact and it is not airborne...So far all reported cases have been passed from one patient to the other through the trading of gay porn videos downloaded from the internet"...But the doctor says there is a bright ray of hope which has recently surfaced...
Dr. Tchytz explained that a recent cooperative investigation by the Hobby Airport Poofter Police in partnership with the prestigious Lesbian Propulsion Laboratory into a baffling case of local high-speed bandwidth theft has yielded an important clue...It is now believed that the wireless signal from the home of a retired veteran on Braniff Street may have been diverted to the area occupied by a neighborhood piano-roll museum...
The mysterious signal has been backtracked to the Dave Grubb tractor porn website, which is known to have been visited numerous times in the past by the elderly, eccentric recluse who operates the museum and is known to have a weakness for watching skidloader porn videos...Scientific researcher RHM mentioned his findings to Dr. Tchytz over a business luncheon at the local Taco Bell...
Dr. Tchytz explained, "It immediately hit me that the infectious, but harmless tractor porn virus, Massey-Ferguson Syndrome, could have transmutated into Epoofa if anyone had also used the same signal to download lesbian porn"...RHM said he doubts if anyone in the museum has watched lesbian porn since he was attacked by the museum owner's daughter with a baseball bat for even suggesting it...
At this point newly assigned midget lesbian Deputy Dumpy Bunny of the Hobby Airport Poofter Police joined the press conference, saying in her squeaky, annoying voice, "Evidence now points to a sleazy, locally employed towel boy named Lefty who occupies a converted shipping container behind the museum...I'm going to track him down for questioning, which shouldn't be too hard since he smells like the men's room door in a Hamm's brewery"...
Dr. Tchytz wrapped up the interview saying that if Lefty proves to have downloaded lesbo porn on the same wireless signal as skidloader porn, then Lefty may indeed be Patient Zero...Even if he is not infected, he could be a carrier, and he warned everyone not to open any email from Lefty until tests can show that Epoofa levels are low enough to be benign...
Shown below is an example of skidloader porn...Warning to readers: Do not download lesbian porn on the same internet connection...
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